sga_santa | Fic: Angele Dei (McKay/Sheppard, PG13)

Title: Angele Dei
Author:

darkmoore
Recipient:

goddess47
Pairing: Sheppard/McKay
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: No money was being made from this.
Author's Notes: Thanks goest to my lovely beta for the lightning-fast work! This story isn't what I set out to write, at first. But wing!fic was one of the things goddess47 wanted, so wing!fic it is. Hope you like it.

Summary:A mission gone wrong leads to a few surprising revelations.

Angele Dei,
qui custos es mei,
me, tibi commissum pietate superna,
illumina, custodi,
rege et guberna.
Amen.

Some days - or pretty much most of them since he had come to Atlantis - Rodney McKay thought the universe really must hate him. He was sticky, hot, tired, and once again it had to be him. Rodney would have to save the day single handed on short notice. Muttering to himself, he wiped the sweat that was threatening to trickle into his eyes away with an impatient gesture, his concentration on the task at hand never wavering.

In front of him was a Genii nuclear bomb, almost hidden in a tiny space underneath a console in an old, abandoned facility. They'd only found it because they had been following an energy signature they had hoped could be a ZPM - instead they'd found a ticking bomb. The contraption wasn't exactly a piece of art, but somehow the Genii had managed to seal it in a way that gave Rodney difficulties getting into it. Time was rapidly running out for them at the moment and Rodney still needed to get into the inner casing.

"McKay?" John asked in that grating 'I-want-answers-and-I-want-them-right-now' kind of voice.

Without looking up Rodney snapped, "Oh, for the love of ... Colonel, shut up. In case you haven't noticed, I'm trying to save our lives here. You see that?" He pointed at the display on which precious seconds were ticking away. "Big, bad, nuclear warhead. If this one here blows up, we won't even be able to say 'oh shit' before we're nothing but black smudges on the ground. So, if you don't want to end up as toast, leave me alone."

John muttered something under his breath Rodney couldn't make out, but retreated back into the corner he had come from.

"Maybe we should head back to the gate immediately?" Teyla, always the voice of reason, injected herself into the conversation for the first time since McKay had started opening up the bomb.

"Not enough time. If we had arrived, taken a look at the nuke and turned around straight away we still wouldn't have had a chance to get back through the gate, otherwise we wouldn't be having this discussion right now, we'd be running for our lives, again." It was annoying that they insisted on getting answers while he was working so hard to keep them alive. "This thing is going to blow up before we are half-way back." Finally it opened completely and he looked at the tangle of cables that was revealed. This muddle was going to take a few precious minutes to untangle in his mind before Rodney could even start doing something.

After studying the messy handiwork in front of him for what felt like hours, Rodney realized with a start that he wouldn't be able to deactivate the bomb without also setting it off. Panic settled into his stomach, and he frantically searched his brain for another way to get them home alive. He couldn't deactivate the bomb, but maybe he could reset the timer. Their activation of the gate had triggered the countdown, resetting the timer would give them just time to get through the gate and back home. Only downside was that they'd leave another planet to be at least partly destroyed. At least the planet was uninhabited, so there would be no lives lost.

"I'll reset the timer, it'll buy us the time to get back to the gate, but that's the only thing I can do," Rodney informed the team, trying his best to sound positive but failing miserably.

Mouth set in a tight line, John nodded his assent. "Understood," he said, "we'll move as soon as you're done."

If Rodney hadn't known John so well he would have been fooled by the normality of his tone, but as it was, Rodney could hear real worry underneath. Moving around in the innards of the bomb very carefully, Rodney ignored the others completely as he followed the wires again. It wouldn't do to accidentally cross the wrong ones and incinerate them all in the process. Finally he rubbed his hands on his trousers and got up on unsteady legs. "Done."

John turned back towards the entrance of the room immediately, "Okay, let's move it. I want us to get out of here ASAP."

With one last, unhappy look at the bomb, Rodney followed him, quickening his steps until he was walking at John's side, knowing Ronon and Teyla were right behind them. "It'll take us longer to get down that mountain than it took us to get up," Rodney said, his breath coming quicker already. At least the pins and needles feeling in his legs had vanished now.

"I know that, McKay. But we can't hurry too much. Getting away from that bomb won't do us any good if we fall and break our necks instead. And there's no other way around that'd be safer," John answered.

Rodney noticed how tightly he held his P-90, like the weapon could do anything against a nuclear explosion. It was funny how his mind chose to focus on little things like that in the face of imminent death. Rodney wanted to say something, but couldn't come up with anything that wasn't a lament of their doom. All he could do was hope they could make it and keep up with John's pace.

Ooo00O00ooO

The hike was more gruesome than Rodney had anticipated mainly due to the fact that they were all exhausted from going the other way first. Debris and mud from fresh rain were forcing them to tread carefully and prolonged their trek considerably. Rodney checked the countdown he'd started on his own watch to match the one on the bomb and his insides turned to ice. If they kept getting held up like this any longer, they'd barely make it to the gate before the nuke went off. Rodney was about to break the news to John when suddenly the ground beneath his right leg gave way.

Rodney cried out as pain shot through his calf, blinding in its intensity. Immediately his team was by his side.

"Rodney, what happened? Are you hurt?" Teyla's voice was full of concern as she crouched down beside him. John and Ronon followed her a second later.

"I'm not sure, one moment I'm walking, the next, I'm stuck," Rodney said, trying to pull his leg out of the hole in the ground it was currently trapped in without any success. It hurt and Rodney started to feel slightly queasy from the pain and exhaustion. In the distance, not too far way, Rodney could see the Stargate. So close yet completely out of reach for him, now.

"Can you move your leg at all, Rodney?" John asked and started to examine the area around the hole Rodney was stuck in.

"No, I can't. And it hurts pretty badly," Rodney replied, feeling panic settle in his gut. With sudden clarity, Rodney knew that he wouldn't make it out alive this time. He was well and truly stuck and time was running out. There was nothing his team-mates could do for him. Even if they'd had the necessary tools to dig him out of this hole, it would be too late. Then not only he but all of them would die on this planet.

Coming to a decision, Rodney batted John's hands away and snapped at him, "Go! You can't get me out of here and still make it to the 'gate. Hurry and save yourself. Please, you need to go right now." He tried to push them away, make them move but his team just looked at him like he had lost his mind.

"There is still time, Rodney," Teyla said and John didn't comment at all, he just continued to dig at the ground where Rodney's leg was still stuck. A wave of gratitude, love and sadness washed over Rodney as he watched his friend dig in the dirt with his bare hands. For a moment Rodney wished that he'd had the courage to tell John about his feelings for him, after DADT had been repealed. About the love for him Rodney had hid, practically from the moment they had first met, all those years ago in Antarctica.

But it was too late now. Despite the situation, this was not the time for deathbed confessions. If Rodney had to die, he at least wanted to know that the man he loved and the people he considered family were safe. But none of them was making any attempts to leave him.

Rodney lost his patience. "Would you just go already? I don't want to die, I really don't, but don't you get it? There is nothing you can do for me. There isn't enough time," Rodney pleaded. He felt more scared about John dying than his own imminent demise right now. If Rodney couldn't make it out alive, at least the man he loved and the people he called family should survive.

It just wasn't fair. After all the times he had cheated death for his team and himself, it was pure irony that the Genii would kill them with a bomb they had perfected with his help.

"Shut up McKay you're not helping," John groused and to Rodney's dismay actually settled closer behind him. He was pressing his whole body against Rodney in an attempt to find a better angle to work Rodney's leg free.

"John, would you just listen-"

"Damn it Rodney, I will not leave you!" John sounded determined and slightly impatient now as he began to work his fingers in beside Rodney's leg.

"But that's stupid, John. Atlantis needs you. The expedition needs you. Ronon, Teyla, come on, I don't want you to die here for nothing. Just go away already!" Tears of frustration and fear were stinging in Rodney's eyes, but he willed them back. Why couldn't they just listen to him this once? Rodney couldn't bear the thought that they would stupidly sacrifice themselves and die alongside him.

Teyla inclined her head and her hand touched his shoulder in a soft, reassuring gesture. "One does not desert family in an hour of need," she said, smiling at him sadly. Beside her, Ronon looked determined but he moved to crouch closer to the rest of the team nevertheless. "Not gonna leave you here either," was all he said.

Rodney wanted to scream. He could practically hear the seconds ticking down in his head, knew that soon they'd see the gigantic nuclear cloud raise to the sky like a malicious mushroom before the wave of heat would burn them to ciders. They were just far enough away to appreciate the deadly beauty and close enough to not suffer. Rodney decided to give it one last try. "John, if you leave now there's enough time to get the three of you home. There really is no other choice, you have to know that."

When John sighed and pushed to his feet, Rodney thought he'd finally made John see reason. But instead of hurrying away John merely took a step back and raised his arms to the sky in a supplicating gesture Rodney had never expected of seeing from John. The sudden, bright light took Rodney by surprise and he had to cover his eyes with his hands. There was no pain - even though a light as bright as this should have hurt - but the feeling of... intruding on something private. When the light faded away, Rodney slowly took his hands away from his eyes and looked around himself.

What he saw made his jaw drop in surprise. Once his eyes had adjusted to the change of lighting, Rodney was greeted by the most unusual sight he'd seen in his whole life; Wraith, Iratus bugs and alternate Universe versions of himself included. There, in simple, tan linen clothes, stood John Sheppard, two beautiful, white wings slowly spreading out behind him. He looked calm, if a bit resigned and when none of them spoke, shrugged and stepped closer.

"No worries, I've got this one," he said as he folded his wings around the team.

Teyla's confused, "John?" was uttered at the same time as Rodney's, "What the hell?"

Chuckling a bit, John smiled down at Rodney and answered, "Hell doesn't have anything to do with this."

At that moment the nuke went off and even with John wrapped around them like a shield Rodney could feel the deadly energy raging around them. He felt strangely detached from his surroundings now. Maybe he was going into shock. Whatever it was that made him feel lightheaded and dizzy, Rodney decided he didn't care. With a sigh he just gave in, closed his eyes and let John hold him tight.

Ooo00O00ooO

Great. That really went well, John thought as he wrapped his wings more tightly around his friends. He could feel the heat wash over him while debris bounced off of the glowing bubble of protection that had been granted on his desperate plea for help. Even though this certainly wasn't an ideal situation it had its ups: The only ones who witnessed any of it were his team. And John knew that none of them would talk about it if he asked them not to.

Rodney, who had been lying in his arms like some sort of overgrown rag-doll suddenly moved, looking up at him with huge eyes. There was surprise and awe clearly readable in his face, along with gratitude and so much love it made John ache. Chances were that this was the last time he'd see that expression on Rodney's face. Revelations of the kind he had just pulled usually didn't go well with the whole 'being in love' department.

There was no doubt in John's mind he'd regret ever having to show himself this way. But his mission had been crystal clear: Keep Rodney McKay alive at all costs. There could be no failure, normal rules simply did not apply. This man was so important in the Godly plan that John was freed from all restraints when it came to protecting him. At any given time there existed only a few of these individuals.

"We're not dead. Oh my God, we're really not dead." Rodney obviously had found his voice again.

"No, we're really not," John agreed and smiled at him fondly. "And hey, this time you even got the deity right."

Rodney stared at him again, wide eyed and curious, "So you're really an angel then? Sent from ... God?" He sounded so disbelieving that John couldn't help but laugh.

"Yes, I'm an angel, Rodney. Your guardian angel, to be exact. I'm sure all of you have a million questions for me now, but they'll have to wait. I need to get you unstuck and back to Atlantis - all of you. I don't want to raise any more suspicion than necessary. So, please let me deal with this now and we can talk about it later, alright?" John didn't give any of his team the chance to answer though. He just reached for Rodney's leg and pulled it out of the hole, healing it in the process.

Rodney stared at him open-mouthed and John suppressed a sigh. Now came the hard part. He needed to get them back to the gate, change back to his John Sheppard, Military leader self, and fool the expedition into thinking that the nuke had gone off only after they had come back home.

This was going to be difficult at best.

Ooo00O00ooO

Five hours later John found himself in front of Rodney's door. They'd managed to pull their story off, rushing back through the gate and yelling at the technician to pull up the shield and close the gate.

No word had been spoken between them about what had happened during the mission. In a way it was easier for Ronon and Teyla, who had no concept of what an angel was or did. They were grateful that he had saved them all and that was that. Rodney however was a completely different matter. He was a scientist who had been shown that God really did exist. He had learned that his best friend and the man he was in love with also was his guardian angel.

With a sigh John touched the door-chime. Time to face the music.

The door opened, revealing Rodney who clearly looked annoyed to have been disturbed and ready to lay into someone for it. The moment he recognized John standing there, all of his anger seemed to deflate. "Oh, it's you," he said, fidgeting a bit before moving to the side to let John in.

As soon as the door had closed behind him, John said, "We need to talk, Rodney."

Rodney started to pace the length of the room, avoiding to look at John. "No, no we really don't," he said in an uneasy voice. "Nothing good ever came very from a conversation that started off like this."

John smiled. "It'll be alright, Rodney, I promise."

His words made Rodney stop short in his tracks. He glared at John, for a moment before he zeroed in on John, stabbing a finger in his direction in a sharp, angry motion.. "And you know that how exactly? Did your boss tell you so? Are you somehow omnipotent? Will you just do another ... angel ... thing ... and make it all miraculously right again?"

"Look, I know you're angry and hurt and I completely understand why you feel that way. I'm not who you thought me to be, but Rodney, I'm still the same person I was yesterday. The only thing that has changed is the fact that you know I'm able of protecting you better than you thought I could. And to answer your questions: No, I'm not omnipotent. No, my father ... boss ... whatever you want to call Him, didn't tell me anything. I'm your guardian angel, but even I only get to do exceptional things when your life is in danger and there is no other way. You're usually the one to save the day, remember? It's all you, all I do is make sure you get out alive." John smiled at Rodney who had started pacing again. He didn't seem to be as angry any more but was apparently slipping into scientist mode, now. John could practically see him thinking it over.

"Let's pretend I believe everything you just told me, that doesn't explain one thing though: Why do I have a guardian angel? Why are you here when I don't even believe in God. That just doesn't make sense!" Rodney was almost yelling now, hands flying about in an agitated manner.

"I'm here because you are important, Rodney. You're special, even more special than you ever could have imagined. Father has great plans for you and he needs you alive for that," John said gently and had to suppress a smile at the dumbfounded look that appeared on Rodney's face.

"He has plans for me?" Rodney asked incredulously. "Didn't you hear what I said? I don't believe in God. I can't believe in something that can't scientifically be proven. I-"

"He doesn't mind, Rodney," John interrupted Rodney's rant. "God doesn't mind that you don't believe in Him. In fact, whether you believe or not doesn't matter at all. You're His child and He loves you." John took a deep breath and decided to just risk it and tell another truth. Lowering his voice slightly, he added, "And so do I."

"Oh yes, sure. You love me. Because I'm such a lovable guy," Rodney said sarcastically, pushing right into John's personal space. "Stop pretending I'm anything more to you than a job. Being what you are, I'm sure you know of my feelings for you."

Yes, John did know that Rodney was in love with him, but being an angel had nothing at all to do with that. Rodney's face showed all of his emotions so clearly, it was easy to recognize for anyone who cared to look. Instead of telling him that though, John smiled patiently and said, "Don't talk like that, Rodney. A lot of people love you a great deal, because yes, you are lovable." He held up a hand when Rodney wanted to protest.

"You're also right about one thing: you're my charge. I'm your guardian angel, Rodney, loving you is pretty much my default setting. But I-"

"I knew it!" Rodney snapped angrily, shoving John's chest roughly. "Get out! I don't want to talk to you any more. So loving me is your 'default setting'? That's just rich. Someone loves my but it's not about me. It's not even about what you want. You were made that way. Wow, that's such a boost for my ego right there. Geez and I thought I couldn't hurt any more than I already did. Get out already."

"Oh for the love of ..." John had a lot of patience for all of Rodney's stupid stunts but enough was enough. Catching Rodney's flailing hands in his own, John pulled Rodney flush to his body. "Stop being such an ass, Rodney. If you'd let me finish my sentence, I'd have told you that I'm in love with you, you idiot."

"In love?" Rodney asked breathlessly, already leaning closer into John's touch. "Is that even permitted?"

John rolled his eyes. Only Rodney would ask such a question. "It's not exactly common, but it's not forbidden either. And besides ... I'm kinda known for bending the rules a bit," John said sheepishly.

"Does that mean-"

Fed up with all the questions, John just kissed Rodney. It was the best way to shut him up, anyway, John decided. After a second of surprise, Rodney's lips parted and their chaste kiss turned heated and messy. Rodney groaned, pressing himself against John in a very unmistakable manner.

"Bed?" John asked as he threaded his fingers into Rodney's hair and kissed the spot right under Rodney's earlobe.

"Bed," Rodney agreed and moved a little away from John to be able to look him in the eyes properly.

"Say, since you're my own guardian angel and madly in love with me all that, do I get to play with your wings?" he asked mischievously.

"Perv," John laughed, grabbed Rodney around the corner and tackled him onto the bed where they landed in a messy heap.

"But you love me anyway," Rodney said smugly when he'd gathered his breath.

"That I do," John agreed and sealed Rodney's lips with a tender kiss.

Angel of God,
my Guardian dear,
To whom God's love commits me here,
Ever this day, be at my side,
To light and guard,
Rule and guide.
Amen.