Fic: Another Chance
Dec. 24th, 2005 07:12 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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sga_santaTitle: Another chance
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
scap3goat
Recipient:filenotch
Pairing: Sheppard/Doggett
Rating: R
Category: Slash, X-over, action/romance (?)
Spoilers: All X-Files; SG:A half ways through season 2
Summary: Having only about two minutes of a message about his brother's death, Doggett decides that he needs to know more and ends up in Atlantis, where his namesake gets trapped between guilt and... something much more pleasurable.
Words: 6.598
A/N:
Things I'd like: Most anything other than what I wouldn't like. Well-done crossovers okay with HL, [any]Trek, X-files. And generally, I like slash.
Things I wouldn't like: crack!fic, sentimentality, mpreg, children, and utterly unbelievable characterizations, RP, or X-overs that don't make sense to me (CSI, Friends, Lost, House, you get my drift).
I guess I failed miserably, but happy Christmas anyway, filenotch!
(I guess I tried to write too much story in few time...)
Another chance
"Marshall?"
The sound was quiet but it rung in Doggett's ears like it was shouted.
"You must be Colonel Everett. I'm Special Agent John Doggett. I'm here because I... received a videotape, to inform me that Colonel Marshall Sumner has died on a military mission. May I?"
John motioned towards the chair and sat when he received a curt nod. The Colonel laughed silently. "I mistook you for him for a moment."
Doggett nodded sharply. "That can happen. We are - were identical twins. We were separated after birth and we were given up for adoption. That's why it took so long for the tape to arrive at my place."
"He never told me - anyone about a brother..."
John grinned slightly. "He was too proud of his 'military family' to admit that he himself was only adopted. But we became very good friends after we found out..."
Everett nodded. He looked so much older than his file stated.
"Why are you here?" he asked after a moment.
Doggett lowered his head. "I work in a certain department of the FBI, or at least did so. They are called the X-Files. Cases no one could figure out. There have been several files about 'cases' that hinted towards Colorado Springs and Cheyenne Mountain Complex. Some simply accuse the military of secret research, some think it's about biological weapons. Others talk about a so called Stargate Program, involving Aliens and travel to other planets, and it's located in the Complex."
Everett coughed. "I bet those guys saying so saw too much Wormhole X-treme!"
Doggett nodded. "Might be. But those people say the TV-Series is based on the real thing. And they say the government is just allowing the series to continue because it's a good cover. Frankly, I thought these people are nuts. But in the past two years I saw more than I can explain. And I saw the message on the tape. Fact is that Marshall was stationed in Cheyenne Mountain. He told me that we might never see again. The next thing I hear he's dead. You were stationed in Cheyenne Mountain. You look a lot older than you should. Something's going on. And I need to know what!"
Doggett got up and was about to leave when the Colonel spoke up. "Phone Brigadier General Jack O'Neill. Tell him that you need to know about Pegasus. And Daedalus."
The Agent frowned for a moment. "Greek mythology? But will do. Get better, Colonel."
*
It took Doggett three weeks until he finally got through to General O'Neill.
The first time he called, the man simply hung up.
The next time he got as far as, "My name is Special Agent John Doggett..."
The third time he began with, "I know about Pegasus and Daedalus."
He was greeted by silence, then a low, "What do you want?"
"I want to talk about my brother!" shot Doggett back.
Silence lasted longer this time and John waited patiently. "Your brother?"
"Colonel Marshall Sumner," answered Doggett as calmly as possible.
Another long pause.
"Sumner? I didn't know he had a brother..."
John swallowed hard. "No one knew."
"I'll call you," was the last reply before the general hung up again.
"Fucking bastard!" muttered John and slumped on his bed. All this was wearing him down slowly.
*
In fact he had to wait another three weeks until he was woken rudely by some Marines banging on his door, brought to a van with toned windows and then told that he was brought to Cheyenne Mountain.
He was allowed to bring exactly one bag.
On the drive towards nowhere he was handed a 64 page strong file that read "Security Standards". And after 63 pages of the same rephrased contend over and over again ("You must under no circumstances reveal what you came to know since this would be seen as a treasonous act towards the United States of America") he had to sign a form that he acknowledged this.
Doggett came to the impression that he didn't have another chance but to sign.
It wasn't like he had to lose anything anyway.
*
Doggett estimated that they had been on the road for several hours, if not days. After thinking about him falling asleep more than once, about seven stops to pee and two junk food meals he estimated that it could be even more than a day.
Then, another few hours later they boarded a plane in the middle of nowhere and another few hours later they landed on a very military looking airport.
A helicopter brought them to another military base and after another ride in a black Van with black windows John was not only annoyed but had also - although he didn't know - arrived at his destination.
"Brigadier General Jack O'Neill!" he was greeted by a man in blue BDUs, grey hair and a crooked smile. "I see you made it though the National whatever's... whatever it is..."
"You and I talked on the phone," said Doggett.
O'Neill nodded. "Yes, very observant. If you would follow me now?"
The gorillas in the black suits vanished and Doggett followed O'Neill. They were walking through a long corridor, had a security check not unlike the ones you get at airports, walked down another long corridor and then into an elevator.
"Would you like to go to your quarters first or...?"
"Believe me, General, I had enough time to lie down in the last hours or days. I would rather find out why I am here and where here exactly is."
O'Neill seemed to mentally roll his eyes and then pressed a button on the elevator's control. "Right, conference room!"
They headed through a lot of identical corridors and Doggett felt himself reminded of his time onboard various warships. Unless you knew the ship, where you were and where you wanted to go to you were lost.
But finally, their journey came to an end. They just climbed few stair flights and then entered a room with a large conference table. Doggett sat his bag on the floor and O'Neill motioned for him to look through the large panorama window.
"That's what you've been looking for!" said O'Neill, unable to conceal a small proud smile.
"The Stargate. Or at least it looks like that Stargate is described. Large, metal, round, hole in the middle, lot's of symbols on the inner ring and red glowy panels."
"We call 'em Chevrons," interrupted O'Neill and Doggett turned around.
A small smile played on his lips. "What? You did all this security stuff and now tell me all I wanted to know - or perhaps didn't want to know?"
O'Neill shrugged. "You passed the security tests, you have done a lot for your country... most people say you're okay."
Now Doggett had a hard time to not grin. "And? Do you think so?"
O'Neill was about to answer when a man, resembling Skinner a lot but not quite for he was wearing the AF uniform of an colonel, entered the room, followed by a younger, lean man with round glasses and messy short brown hair, also wearing BDUs.
"With all due respect, sir, I don't trust him!" stated the Skinner look-a-like.
O'Neill glared at the Colonel. "The president obviously does!"
"The president?" asked Doggett, surprised. "Did he..."
"... sign the confirmation of your security clearance? Yeah. Signing the form and the long ride was just show, I assure you!" interrupted the young man with no obvious connection to the military but the general didn't seem to be bothered.
"Caldwell, as hard as you might disapprove, he HAS the clearance. If he wants it he will go with you next flight. You'll take him with you and you won't complain because it's an order! And if he doesn't want to go, no Daniel, you can't take his place!"
Now Doggett became curious. "Where would I not want to go?"
"Atlantis. Let me explain this to you. But first, it's going to be a long trip, but you'll end up somewhere far more spectacular than an Air Force base in a mountain."
***
Roughly two weeks later...
***
Sheppard was humming to himself while waiting for the new military personal and new supplies from earth.
The Daedalus would arrive in a few minutes and Sheppard could already feel the stomach ache and nausea from the over excessive chocolate consumption. He had a few bars left from his last ratio and he would eat them all tonight.
Perhaps he could change something from the new arrived stuff for some of the liquid hangover Zelenka produced in his stills - which of course Sheppard didn't know about because he would have to stop the small Czechs rather good business.
Sheppard was still humming when the Daedalus landed and unloading started, but soon his good mood vanished.
In fact John felt like falling to his knees and crying when he saw the man stepping off Daedalus. He just looked like Sumner. A wave of nausea and frustration crashed down on John.
He automatically stood still when the other man approached him and halted in front of him. "Lt. Col. John Sheppard, USAF"
The other man nodded at him. "Special Agent John Doggett, from the FBI..."
"FBI?" asked John, startled for a moment.
"Well... I got the message of my brother's death and I inquired a bit. It landed me here!"
Sheppard nodded. He was confused. But there was a emergency plan for everything "I'll lead you in. Doctor Weir might want to have a word with you..."
***
Sheppard watched the man curiously. What was he doing here?
Trying to get revenge on Sheppard?
Too self-centred. John shook his head and smiled. He should stop spending so much time with McKay.
"Your lunch is getting cold. Do you want to eat that?"
Speaking of the devil...
"Hello Rodney. Yes, I do intend to eat that, thank you very much!"
McKay shrugged and sat down. "Just because your personal personified nightmare and guilt's twin brother is around you don't have to be that picky. Not even with the identical twin..." ranted the Canadian.
"Thank you for reminding me!" snapped Sheppard.
McKay bit his lower lip. "You're not the only one who's lost lives you were responsible for. I don't see Elizabeth staring at that man or something. Get your act together, Sheppard."
Sheppard leaned back and crossed his arms defiantly in front of his chest.
"Who made you the new psychologist?" he spat out venomously.
Rodney looked flustered. He had done nothing but played with his lunch so far, a sign that he was bothered with something more important than eating right now.
"I just... look, you're gonna have a pretty bad time in the future if you don't overcome your inner demons pretty fast or at least learn to ignore them."
With this last cryptically expressed shred of information McKay left the very startled Sheppard behind.
***
It didn't take long for Sheppard to find out what exactly Rodney had meant.
At the next senior staff meeting Weir announced that, due to Ronon's and Teyla's absence, John would take Doggett and another soldier along on their next mission.
"Now, that's just plain wrong!" whined Sheppard while standing next to Rodney, waiting for the scientist to gear up. "Losing the two natives from my team and going with someone called Jaus (Rodney snickered at the way Sheppard tried to pronounce the name right - and failed) and someone who probably doesn't even know how to spell out the place we are going to."
"M T-H-R, double E, X, hyphen, S-I-X, T-W-O and E-I-G-H-T!" came the reply from the passing by Doggett. A small smirk lay on his lips.
"I'd wager that was right..." hummed Rodney.
"And I'd wager that he heard my comment..." muttered Sheppard.
Definitely so not his day!
*
"Sir?" asked Bates when Doggett passed him.
"Yes, Sergeant?" asked Doggett and eyed the man carefully.
"I wanted to warn you about Lt. Col. Sheppard," said Bates coolly.
Doggett smiled just as coolly and replied, "Thanks, but I'd like to make my own judgments about him. I don't need you tell me about my brother's opinion about Sheppard!"
With that he walked on and felt a grim satisfaction.
*
The day passed rather quickly for both of them, Sheppard and Doggett.
They were even home in time for dinner (that hardly happened) and Doggett saw his chance to talk to Sheppard.
He had had the feeling that the man was avoiding him all day long, but Doggett wanted something different.
Finding himself in an alien city in a different galaxy, discovering that his brother had died by the hands of 'vampire'-aliens, travelling by spaceship and wormhole by the means of the Stargate he had only thought a crazy drug-induced fantasy left him awed and with a few questions.
*
"Good evening," greeted Doggett friendly and motioned towards the free chair opposite to Sheppard. "This seat still free?"
Sheppard cringed slightly but then nodded. "Yeah, have a seat."
Doggett picked at his food before looking up and focusing on Sheppard. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"
The Colonel groaned silently. He had known that he couldn't avoid this if he couldn't avoid Doggett. But well, here he was... "Shoot," he said faintly.
"How long does it take until you start to realize this is true?"
Now Sheppard was startled and blinked at Doggett for a moment. He had expected everything but now he was lost for words. "I beg you pardon?"
Doggett laughed a bit uneasily. "I mean, this is... so totally different from what we are used to. Normally. It's huge. It's alien. There are aliens out there!"
Sheppard laughed as uneasily as Doggett. "Well, some time..."
They went silent again and ate for a few minutes.
"You thought I'd ask you about my brother, didn't you?" asked Doggett after a while, this time not looking up from his meal.
"Yeah," confessed the pilot. "Think so..."
"Don't think either of us is ready for that yet... as far as I understood you were with him... when he... you know..."
Sheppard smiled nervously. "I think we should talk about it once we're both ready for it!"
***
Roughly three (uneventful) weeks later...
***
Sheppard felt guilty again. He had reread his report about what had happened on the Hiveship with Sumner and now he felt so guilty.
He practically killed the man. He technically had killed the man.
He should have found another way to stop the wraith bitch and to rescue Sumner.
He had failed.
He felt miserable.
He should go and tell Doggett.
Confess his sins to the one man who deserved the truth.
After all he had avoided talking to Doggett about that for four weeks now.
***
"Hey... I just came around to see... how you are doing..." said Sheppard when Doggett opened the door for him.
Doggett shrugged. "Come in, I just was about to get drunk."
Sheppard laughed bitterly. "Nice idea."
"Care to come in and join me? I think there must be enough liquor here to finish both of us off," offered Doggett with a sly smirk.
Sheppard nodded and entered.
*
About two hours and at least two bottles of something strongly smelling later the two of them were in a state where they were laughing without any reason and then almost crying the next minute. They both knew that they wouldn't stay awake for long now.
*
When Sheppard awoke it was still dark outside and his head hurt like a mother. He was curled up to a warm body and this startled him.
Recognizing Doggett next to him was shocking. How had he ended up here?
Surely it was - although they were naked - a misunderstanding...
Sheppard hoped out of bed as silently as possible and dressed quickly before leaving the quarters.
Although he desperately wanted to go to sleep again he found himself unable to do so. It was hard for him to admit this to himself, but he was afraid.
So he lay awake for a few hours, grabbed breakfast and then retreated to his office. His explanation was that there still were reports to write and to go through.
He sat there hour after hour and it was already late afternoon when he got a - not so unexpected - visitor.
Doggett leaned against the doorframe and watched Sheppard for some time.
"Mind if I come in?"
"You are already half-ways in."
Doggett entered the small office and swept the room with a quick gaze. "I wanted to talk about yesterday evening," he stated almost by the way.
Doggett kept on talking almost senselessly until Sheppard lost his patience.
"Damnit, your just like him, ain't ya?" growled Sheppard. "You can't let it rest!"
To Doggett that felt like a slap in the face, which made him furious. "We nearly fucked, you walk away and then bring my dead brother up? Bastard!"
"We nearly...?" asked Sheppard in a high-pitched voice.
"Yeah, we nearly fucked. Almost. What did you think you were doing in bed with me, naked? What else might it have been that let you run away like a coward?"
John lowered his head. "I didn't know that we only nearly... god, I'm so stupid!"
He groaned and covered his face with his hands.
"Believe me, you are! You are a really stupid arsehole!"
Sheppard slowly shook his head. "No, I... I was afraid. I couldn't remember what had happened. I just... assumed, you know? I didn't want to be thrown out by you. I felt so guilty for everything. And right now I feel so sick of it all!"
Doggett shook his head. "Your right. I should let this rest."
Sheppard was too tired and to caught up in his own misery to realize that the other man had left.
***
Avoiding each other wasn't as hard at one might think with such a close-knit community.
They actually did so very successful for about two weeks.
Then Elizabeth started to protest and ordered John to take Doggett on another mission.
"Look, he knows his stuff, he can do the job. He was a marine and he was doing fine the last time! Get your act together. He won't stay much longer anyway..."
At this John looked up. "He's leaving? When?"
Elizabeth shrugged. "The next time Daedalus comes back here."
They both were silent for a moment and Elizabeth leaned back in her chair. "Why would you care, John? You don't seem to like him much. You should be happy he leaves."
John just stared at the floor like a boy who had just eaten the last cookies and couldn't deny it to his mother.
"John? You better try and work with him for the next mission. I know he won't complain but you don't have to make all this harder for him, you know?"
John started to speak up but Elizabeth lifted her hands.
"I know this is hard on you, too. You're always reminded of Sumner and although you didn't like him either you still feel guilty for relieving him of his pain."
"I'm not feeling... stuff it. I'll take Doggett on that mission, bring him back in one piece and he'll be gone for good, right?"
Elizabeth nodded and failed to see John's pained glance out of the window towards the Gate.
***
"It's a sad thing you don't stay much longer!" Carson said during Doggett's pre-mission check-up. "I enjoyed your company, as many others did, as well!"
Doggett smiled wryly. "Well, it's been a good time. But being home eventually won't be bad either. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the lot of you."
Beckett smiled, finished taking the blood pressure and pulse.
"You seem to be just as healthy as everyone else! But be so nice and lift your shirt a bit to grant me a last listen to your lungs!"
Doggett chuckled at the most original bedside manner of the Scot before pulling his shirt over his head.
"The stethoscope is cold," warned Carson before starting his last examination. "Inhale, Exhale. Fine. Cough. Good. Inhale again. And exhale. Very good!"
Sheppard chose that moment to enter the infirmary. He stared at Doggett for a moment and then addressed Beckett. "You're done with him?"
Carson shook his head smilingly. "Take him, Colonel. There's nothing wrong with the man. But be careful, he might be but a bit older than you are!"
Doggett pulled his shirt back on and then his jacket. "Thanks, Doc. It was a pleasure to meet you," he thanked Beckett and shook his hand.
"Ach, it was my pleasure, too. I just hope you don't leave any unfinished business behind!" smiled the MD and gripped Doggett's hand just a tad harder before releasing it.
***
Neither Doggett nor Sheppard spoke much to each other during the march over almost endless fields of flowers.
Both of them thought about what Beckett's words had implicated. They knew that Beckett knew and they knew that he knew that they knew.
Or something like that.
"You sure that these folks are peaceful, Teyla?" asked Sheppard after a while. "Well, I don't doubt you, yet, but we haven't seen much of them, either!"
Teyla smiled her usual gentle smile. "They are shy and usually their hunters don't greet the visitors. You will have to wait until we arrive at the village."
They did so after another half an hour and all of them where shocked.
The sight of burned houses and huts greeted them.
"What happened?" asked Teyla and they started to roam the village to see if they could find something or anything that indicated what might have happened.
*
And then things went fast, too fast for either of them to remember what exactly had happened. A Genii troop surprised them and they were split in groups of two - Teyla and Ronon and Sheppard and Doggett.
Later, Sheppard recalled seeing Teyla and Ronon head somewhere towards the Gate and he really hoped they'd return well. He and Doggett headed towards the mountains behind the village and found a cave to hide in.
*
The problem was that they had to go deeper into the cave to evade the Genii and the cave wasn't too stable.
But they only realized that when the ceiling was already coming down on them.
Doggett only got a few scraps while Sheppard was hit harder - a lot harder.
The stumbled on, deeper into the cave, Doggett helping Sheppard to stay upright.
*
"That's so typical! Two ways and we have to choose on!" muttered John when he saw the fork.
"We'll take the right path," decided Doggett.
"And why?" snapped Sheppard.
"Because I say so and you can try to take the left path on your own."
Sheppard winced. "Okay, we'll take the right path..."
*
It was sheer luck that they took the right turns and finally found their way out again.
When Sheppard and Doggett saw the light coming from the - possibly - exit, they both were relieved and dropped on the ground.
In just a few hours after the collapse of the cave, Sheppard's right leg had gone stiff and he was thankful for the pause.
"I guess we'll have to wait," muttered Doggett fumbling with their broke radios. "Who knows if the Genii are still out there."
Sheppard nodded. It had been almost two days they had spend in the maze of the cave and his injuries didn't feel better - especially his leg - after that long walk. But at least he had had the time to tell Doggett about the Genii and what problems they already had had with them.
But something had been left unsaid all the time. Something that was welling up now, with Sheppard's mind being distracted by pain.
"I'm so sorry," whispered Sheppard. "For... your brother... it is all my fault."
Doggett looked up to the hurt soldier. "What?"
More pain ghosted over Sheppard's features. "I'm... I'm so sorry. He was there with the Keeper and she asked him about Earth. She started feeding of him and he was in so much pain and I wanted to help him so badly."
Doggett turned away. His heart was clenching painfully. "You couldn't have helped him. The Wraiths are monsters. Stop being stupid!"
Pain, fatigue and guilt reigned Sheppard and he couldn't control the few tears running over his cheeks. There was more, he had to tell Doggett...
"I killed him!" called Sheppard towards the ceiling, closing his eyes.
Silence reigned for some minutes until Doggett uttered a croaked, "What?"
And then Sheppard started to babble. Later he couldn't remember what he had said and how often and how stupid it had sounded but finally Doggett came over and sat down next to Sheppard. He laid his hand loosely over Sheppard's mouth until the man stopped talking. It was hard for Sheppard to recognized Doggett's features but he didn't look that angry anymore.
"Sleep," whispered Doggett. "You need some rest! I forgive you."
It felt like a huge weight was lifted off Sheppard and he closed his eyes, falling asleep shortly after.
~~~~~~~~
Suddenly Doggett was so very close. John brushed his lips across the other man's and after staying close for the blink of an eye he almost jumped backwards.
"Sorry," he stammered, looking away and ruffling his hair. "God, I'm drunk... should go..."
Sheppard hurried to the door but was stopped by Doggett who pinned him against the wall with an amazing force for such a lean man.
"So you're drunk? I'm too..." whispered the man, grinning predatorily. He kissed Sheppard hungrily, biting the colonel's lower lip a bit harder than necessary. After the shock wore off John gave in to the demanding kiss and kissed Doggett back.
Sheppard grabbed Doggett by the collar, pulling him closer.
Soon they had to break apart because of the lack of air. Doggett took a few steps back, pulling Sheppard with him. "Come..."
Sheppard closed his eyes for a moment to contemplate the idea (but decided against it because he wasn't a teenager anymore), took and extra step to be near Doggett again and then followed him. On their way to the bedroom, Sheppard was already pulling on Doggett's clothes and Doggett sucked on Sheppard's neck, knowing it would leave a mark.
When they stumbled onto the bed, half falling, half being dragged down they began to laugh, trying to untangle and pulling off clothes in the process.
Doggett lay on top of Sheppard and was panting.
"God, I missed this! Missed the closeness..." whispered Sheppard.
"Let me take care of this!" grinned Doggett and Sheppard closed his eyes smilingly.
~~~~~~~~~
Sheppard woke and stared at the ceiling of the cave. He was cold and everything hurt, but a small fire burnt in his stomach. The dream - or memory - had been beautiful.
John looked around but Doggett wasn't there.
He tried not to panic. So he just closed his eyes and tried to remain calm.
At least his mind was clearer now after resting a bit. He wondered if Doggett had gotten any sleep. As far as he knew the man he would have stayed up all the time, looking after a - temporarily - mental soldier.
*
Perhaps he had dosed off for some time or it really only had been a few minutes until Doggett came back to their makeshift camp.
"I tried to dial them but I got no answer," sighed Doggett. "The damn radio is more or less broken!"
"They'll think we are at least held captive by the Genii," whispered Sheppard, eyes still closed. "Damnit, this hurts..."
Doggett came over and felt Sheppard's forehead. "No fever. Where does it hurt most?"
Sheppard pointed towards the torn sleeve over his bloodied left forearm and his right hip.
"Is it okay if I pull your trousers a bit down to look at your hip?"
After a curt nod Doggett did so and hissed at the sight of the dark purple bruise.
"Damnit, that's at least a pretty large bruise. And it's badly swollen. No wonder you can't move your leg!"
Sheppard smiled faintly in the half darkness. "Guess so... d'you think it'd be okay if I turn on my side? It sucks lying on my back all the time!"
Doggett nodded. "Sure. I'll help you, okay? I think it'd be good to get some pressure off your hip, too."
When they had turned Sheppard on his left side, they both were panting and anxious.
"That hurt. God! But thanks."
"Don't bother. I just wish I could contact Atlantis!"
Sheppard shook his head, facing away from Doggett. "We'll have to wait for a search party. We can't identify as ourselves and so we still could be the Genii trying to gain access to Atlantis."
Doggett pulled second blanket he had found in their backpacks over Sheppard.
"I know. This just sucks."
Sheppard sighed. Usually Doggett was a very venerable man - who didn't curse.
Silence reigned for a moment in which Doggett threw some twigs into the fire.
"You cold?" he asked and Sheppard nodded faintly. Although he was facing the tiny flames he was very cold.
For a moment Sheppard heard only the rustling of clothes and then he felt Doggett's lean framed pressed against his back.
"Better," crocked Sheppard and blushed.
"Sleep a bit!" whispered Doggett and although Sheppard had only woken up he drifted off to dreamland again.
*
Sheppard wasn't sure about how much time passed. He was napping and then lying awake in the darkness, often alone because as soon as Sheppard woke, Doggett got out and tried to find something to eat.
The pilot had to admit that Doggett wasn't that bad a hunter, not at all.
He also had to admit that he liked the tender touches when Doggett checked his temperature with his hand or had a look at his bruised hip and elbow. He was getting attracted to Doggett, or already was. And that was scary.
"Whacha thinking about?" asked Doggett and suppressed a yawn.
"You," confessed Sheppard, still lost in thought and blushing hard when he realized he had said that aloud.
"Huh?" replied Doggett and moved from where he had been leaning on the wall over to John and eyed him for a sign of an answer.
But Sheppard turned away as good as possible and they both sighed.
"You know what? I get the impression that you think about what almost happened between us. But you don't have to worry. I'll be gone for good. No one will ever know."
"I know. And it leaves me wondering... hell, I don't want you to go!"
Now Doggett blinked even more confused. "What?"
"I... might have a slight... infatuation with you. But you found out about what happened to your brother now. I can't blame you for wanting to go now."
Doggett laughed silently and touched Sheppard's face tenderly before getting his gear. "I think we need something to eat."
Sheppard nodded, pale and shivering. "And while you're at it, could you please hunt down some Tylenol, too? My hip's killing me!"
Although he tried to sleep a bit, he couldn't. Something kept nagging him in his subconscious and after some time he started to worry about Doggett on top of that. It took the man too long.
Had the Genii come back? Had they taken Doggett?
***
"Hey, Sheppard!" called Doggett happily. "Sorry it took so long but I've got a surprise for you! Sheppard?"
Not getting an answer made Doggett incredibly nervous. He rushed to the small fireplace and shook the still form of John Sheppard.
"I think he's unconscious!" called Doggett and was relieved when Atlantis' medical team took over. He had felt almost like in a dream when he had seen rescue party. Finally he and Sheppard were able to escape this.
"He's unconscious but stable," announced Beckett. "Let's get him over to the Jumper and then we'll head for Atlantis.
Doggett nodded and worry for Sheppard grabbed him. Sheppard hadn't looked okay at all but as soon as they carried him out of the cave, Doggett saw the full extend of it for the first time.
He was pale and his cheeks sunken in, eyes red-rimmed and his hurt forearm looked terribly with the angry red and dark brown scurf. He wondered if he should have cleaned the wound. On the other hand it didn't look like it was infected or something.
He still was thinking about all that when they left the Jumper in Atlantis and he was walking down the hall towards the infirmary. He didn't notice Caldwell in the hall.
"Ah, there you are, Doggett! We are about to take off. I can postpone the flight for about two hours," said Caldwell. "I hope you have your things packed up already."
Doggett blinked. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll catch the flight in time. I still have to go through post-mission and so on."
"We've got a doctor on board."
Doggett closed his eyes for a moment. "Look, I don't have packed and I don't feel well leaving in such a hurry. I'd rather stay a bit, okay?"
Now Caldwell frowned. "You would have to wait for another month."
"Really, that's okay. I think I solved my problems with Sheppard. I need to stay."
Caldwell frowned even more, but nodded then.
Doggett almost sighed in relieve, nodded at Caldwell and walked on towards the infirmary. He needed to get through the medicals as fast as possible to see how Sheppard was. He felt a bit guilty for leaving the man on his own for so long.
Entering the infirmary he saw no sign of Beckett or Sheppard and simply sat down on a bed. He only noticed now, amidst all this cleanness, how dirty he was. He was tired and hurt, but soon enough his head filled with worries for Sheppard again.
That was why he almost didn't notice Beckett, just as he had not seen Caldwell.
"Here you are again!" smiled the Scot.
"Here I am again," replied Doggett wearily. "How's Sheppard?"
Beckett's smile broadened. "Sleeping. Fine. We used something remotely alike leeches to treat the bruise on his hip. He should be able to move his leg properly soon enough. What about you? Have you been sitting here for the last three hours?"
Doggett blinked like an owl. "Three hours?"
Carson's smile softened and he tilted his head to one side. "Aye. It's been about three hours since we returned. But if I look at you it seems like you have been here for the last few hours. Let me help you to get out of these filthy clothes."
Doggett stripped down to his boxers, let himself be checked by Beckett, put on the scrubs Atlantis CMO handed him and lay down in the bed he had been sitting on.
"You have a few abrasions, a minor bruised ankle and are really fatigued. Sleep and a good meal should cure you in no time."
Doggett nodded and noted, while closing his eyes, that he had never stopped thinking about Sheppard the whole time.
*
The next day Doggett was released from the infirmary after lunch but he returned showered and dressed in fresh clothes to sit by Sheppard's side.
His mind was still racing. The man had confessed that he had killed Marshall, but he also seemed very burdened with this guilt.
Doggett didn't know what to think. Should he be angry or grateful for that mercy shot?
Being sent away after two hours didn't help his fragile state of mind at all.
Sitting next to Sheppard, or so he had realized, his worries were on a minimum.
And so he returned to Sheppard's side the first thing after another good nights sleep.
Sheppard woke up about two hours after Doggett had sat down and blinked against the harsh sunlight.
His complexion was a bit better and his eyes, too.
Then he saw Doggett and they simply stared at each other.
One of them broke the silence with a silently uttered joke and as soon as the spell was broken they started to chat lively.
They only stopped when the nurse sent Doggett away for lunch and told him to return not until the late afternoon.
Grinning broadly Doggett accepted and followed her orders, although he stretched her visiting hours limitation by half an hour in the evening.
And he did another thing. When he finally told himself to go, he waited for a moment, bent down to Sheppard, kissed him good night and vanished almost instantly.
Sheppard's heart was racing after the kiss. Granted, it had been short and only a press of closed lips on closed lips, but it sent a cascade of fireworks loose in his belly.
The question 'Do I want Doggett or is this some mental thing about apologizing to Sumner' suddenly seemed so senseless. It was clear to Sheppard that he wanted Doggett. He wanted something like their kiss and their almost night together more often.
***
Neither of them spoke about the kiss or anything remotely connected to it until Sheppard was allowed to return to his own quarters a few days later.
His leg was better indeed and he was able to move around on crutches.
Doggett accompanied him and smiled proudly when Sheppard made the whole way from the sick bay to his quarters without a pause.
Once inside his domain, Sheppard fell down on the bed and sighed contently, while Doggett was feeling like a trapped mouse. His nervousness started to spike.
"I think we need to talk," he muttered, sitting down on the offered spot on the bed.
Sheppard blinked at him, his goofy grin vanishing. "Well. I don't think so."
Nervousness replaced with curiosity, Doggett looked questioningly at Sheppard.
"Who needs to talk if they can kiss?" asked Sheppard and to prove his theory he pulled Doggett down, pressing his lips against the FBI agents, opening his mouth slightly and ran his tongue over the other man's lips.
Doggett responded, answering Sheppard's kiss with passion.
"It's so sad that you have to leave so soon!" whispered Sheppard half an hour later. They had been kissing like teenagers, groping carefully.
Doggett laughed softly.
"You don't have to laugh. It's only two days until you leave, right?"
"No. It's almost two weeks. We've been gone for a week and when we returned I..."
"... had missed my flight?" suggested Sheppard hopefully.
"No. Caldwell suggested delaying the flight for two hours. I declined."
Now Sheppard gasped surprised. "You...?"
"... did the dumbest thing in all your life?"
The colonel shook his head. "No. You stayed for me?"
"Sure, you daft soldier!" He proved his words with another long, gentle kiss. "For now, I'll stay!"
(Crappy) End
Author:
scap3goatRecipient:
filenotchPairing: Sheppard/Doggett
Rating: R
Category: Slash, X-over, action/romance (?)
Spoilers: All X-Files; SG:A half ways through season 2
Summary: Having only about two minutes of a message about his brother's death, Doggett decides that he needs to know more and ends up in Atlantis, where his namesake gets trapped between guilt and... something much more pleasurable.
Words: 6.598
A/N:
Things I'd like: Most anything other than what I wouldn't like. Well-done crossovers okay with HL, [any]Trek, X-files. And generally, I like slash.
Things I wouldn't like: crack!fic, sentimentality, mpreg, children, and utterly unbelievable characterizations, RP, or X-overs that don't make sense to me (CSI, Friends, Lost, House, you get my drift).
I guess I failed miserably, but happy Christmas anyway, filenotch!
(I guess I tried to write too much story in few time...)
Another chance
"Marshall?"
The sound was quiet but it rung in Doggett's ears like it was shouted.
"You must be Colonel Everett. I'm Special Agent John Doggett. I'm here because I... received a videotape, to inform me that Colonel Marshall Sumner has died on a military mission. May I?"
John motioned towards the chair and sat when he received a curt nod. The Colonel laughed silently. "I mistook you for him for a moment."
Doggett nodded sharply. "That can happen. We are - were identical twins. We were separated after birth and we were given up for adoption. That's why it took so long for the tape to arrive at my place."
"He never told me - anyone about a brother..."
John grinned slightly. "He was too proud of his 'military family' to admit that he himself was only adopted. But we became very good friends after we found out..."
Everett nodded. He looked so much older than his file stated.
"Why are you here?" he asked after a moment.
Doggett lowered his head. "I work in a certain department of the FBI, or at least did so. They are called the X-Files. Cases no one could figure out. There have been several files about 'cases' that hinted towards Colorado Springs and Cheyenne Mountain Complex. Some simply accuse the military of secret research, some think it's about biological weapons. Others talk about a so called Stargate Program, involving Aliens and travel to other planets, and it's located in the Complex."
Everett coughed. "I bet those guys saying so saw too much Wormhole X-treme!"
Doggett nodded. "Might be. But those people say the TV-Series is based on the real thing. And they say the government is just allowing the series to continue because it's a good cover. Frankly, I thought these people are nuts. But in the past two years I saw more than I can explain. And I saw the message on the tape. Fact is that Marshall was stationed in Cheyenne Mountain. He told me that we might never see again. The next thing I hear he's dead. You were stationed in Cheyenne Mountain. You look a lot older than you should. Something's going on. And I need to know what!"
Doggett got up and was about to leave when the Colonel spoke up. "Phone Brigadier General Jack O'Neill. Tell him that you need to know about Pegasus. And Daedalus."
The Agent frowned for a moment. "Greek mythology? But will do. Get better, Colonel."
*
It took Doggett three weeks until he finally got through to General O'Neill.
The first time he called, the man simply hung up.
The next time he got as far as, "My name is Special Agent John Doggett..."
The third time he began with, "I know about Pegasus and Daedalus."
He was greeted by silence, then a low, "What do you want?"
"I want to talk about my brother!" shot Doggett back.
Silence lasted longer this time and John waited patiently. "Your brother?"
"Colonel Marshall Sumner," answered Doggett as calmly as possible.
Another long pause.
"Sumner? I didn't know he had a brother..."
John swallowed hard. "No one knew."
"I'll call you," was the last reply before the general hung up again.
"Fucking bastard!" muttered John and slumped on his bed. All this was wearing him down slowly.
*
In fact he had to wait another three weeks until he was woken rudely by some Marines banging on his door, brought to a van with toned windows and then told that he was brought to Cheyenne Mountain.
He was allowed to bring exactly one bag.
On the drive towards nowhere he was handed a 64 page strong file that read "Security Standards". And after 63 pages of the same rephrased contend over and over again ("You must under no circumstances reveal what you came to know since this would be seen as a treasonous act towards the United States of America") he had to sign a form that he acknowledged this.
Doggett came to the impression that he didn't have another chance but to sign.
It wasn't like he had to lose anything anyway.
*
Doggett estimated that they had been on the road for several hours, if not days. After thinking about him falling asleep more than once, about seven stops to pee and two junk food meals he estimated that it could be even more than a day.
Then, another few hours later they boarded a plane in the middle of nowhere and another few hours later they landed on a very military looking airport.
A helicopter brought them to another military base and after another ride in a black Van with black windows John was not only annoyed but had also - although he didn't know - arrived at his destination.
"Brigadier General Jack O'Neill!" he was greeted by a man in blue BDUs, grey hair and a crooked smile. "I see you made it though the National whatever's... whatever it is..."
"You and I talked on the phone," said Doggett.
O'Neill nodded. "Yes, very observant. If you would follow me now?"
The gorillas in the black suits vanished and Doggett followed O'Neill. They were walking through a long corridor, had a security check not unlike the ones you get at airports, walked down another long corridor and then into an elevator.
"Would you like to go to your quarters first or...?"
"Believe me, General, I had enough time to lie down in the last hours or days. I would rather find out why I am here and where here exactly is."
O'Neill seemed to mentally roll his eyes and then pressed a button on the elevator's control. "Right, conference room!"
They headed through a lot of identical corridors and Doggett felt himself reminded of his time onboard various warships. Unless you knew the ship, where you were and where you wanted to go to you were lost.
But finally, their journey came to an end. They just climbed few stair flights and then entered a room with a large conference table. Doggett sat his bag on the floor and O'Neill motioned for him to look through the large panorama window.
"That's what you've been looking for!" said O'Neill, unable to conceal a small proud smile.
"The Stargate. Or at least it looks like that Stargate is described. Large, metal, round, hole in the middle, lot's of symbols on the inner ring and red glowy panels."
"We call 'em Chevrons," interrupted O'Neill and Doggett turned around.
A small smile played on his lips. "What? You did all this security stuff and now tell me all I wanted to know - or perhaps didn't want to know?"
O'Neill shrugged. "You passed the security tests, you have done a lot for your country... most people say you're okay."
Now Doggett had a hard time to not grin. "And? Do you think so?"
O'Neill was about to answer when a man, resembling Skinner a lot but not quite for he was wearing the AF uniform of an colonel, entered the room, followed by a younger, lean man with round glasses and messy short brown hair, also wearing BDUs.
"With all due respect, sir, I don't trust him!" stated the Skinner look-a-like.
O'Neill glared at the Colonel. "The president obviously does!"
"The president?" asked Doggett, surprised. "Did he..."
"... sign the confirmation of your security clearance? Yeah. Signing the form and the long ride was just show, I assure you!" interrupted the young man with no obvious connection to the military but the general didn't seem to be bothered.
"Caldwell, as hard as you might disapprove, he HAS the clearance. If he wants it he will go with you next flight. You'll take him with you and you won't complain because it's an order! And if he doesn't want to go, no Daniel, you can't take his place!"
Now Doggett became curious. "Where would I not want to go?"
"Atlantis. Let me explain this to you. But first, it's going to be a long trip, but you'll end up somewhere far more spectacular than an Air Force base in a mountain."
***
Roughly two weeks later...
***
Sheppard was humming to himself while waiting for the new military personal and new supplies from earth.
The Daedalus would arrive in a few minutes and Sheppard could already feel the stomach ache and nausea from the over excessive chocolate consumption. He had a few bars left from his last ratio and he would eat them all tonight.
Perhaps he could change something from the new arrived stuff for some of the liquid hangover Zelenka produced in his stills - which of course Sheppard didn't know about because he would have to stop the small Czechs rather good business.
Sheppard was still humming when the Daedalus landed and unloading started, but soon his good mood vanished.
In fact John felt like falling to his knees and crying when he saw the man stepping off Daedalus. He just looked like Sumner. A wave of nausea and frustration crashed down on John.
He automatically stood still when the other man approached him and halted in front of him. "Lt. Col. John Sheppard, USAF"
The other man nodded at him. "Special Agent John Doggett, from the FBI..."
"FBI?" asked John, startled for a moment.
"Well... I got the message of my brother's death and I inquired a bit. It landed me here!"
Sheppard nodded. He was confused. But there was a emergency plan for everything "I'll lead you in. Doctor Weir might want to have a word with you..."
***
Sheppard watched the man curiously. What was he doing here?
Trying to get revenge on Sheppard?
Too self-centred. John shook his head and smiled. He should stop spending so much time with McKay.
"Your lunch is getting cold. Do you want to eat that?"
Speaking of the devil...
"Hello Rodney. Yes, I do intend to eat that, thank you very much!"
McKay shrugged and sat down. "Just because your personal personified nightmare and guilt's twin brother is around you don't have to be that picky. Not even with the identical twin..." ranted the Canadian.
"Thank you for reminding me!" snapped Sheppard.
McKay bit his lower lip. "You're not the only one who's lost lives you were responsible for. I don't see Elizabeth staring at that man or something. Get your act together, Sheppard."
Sheppard leaned back and crossed his arms defiantly in front of his chest.
"Who made you the new psychologist?" he spat out venomously.
Rodney looked flustered. He had done nothing but played with his lunch so far, a sign that he was bothered with something more important than eating right now.
"I just... look, you're gonna have a pretty bad time in the future if you don't overcome your inner demons pretty fast or at least learn to ignore them."
With this last cryptically expressed shred of information McKay left the very startled Sheppard behind.
***
It didn't take long for Sheppard to find out what exactly Rodney had meant.
At the next senior staff meeting Weir announced that, due to Ronon's and Teyla's absence, John would take Doggett and another soldier along on their next mission.
"Now, that's just plain wrong!" whined Sheppard while standing next to Rodney, waiting for the scientist to gear up. "Losing the two natives from my team and going with someone called Jaus (Rodney snickered at the way Sheppard tried to pronounce the name right - and failed) and someone who probably doesn't even know how to spell out the place we are going to."
"M T-H-R, double E, X, hyphen, S-I-X, T-W-O and E-I-G-H-T!" came the reply from the passing by Doggett. A small smirk lay on his lips.
"I'd wager that was right..." hummed Rodney.
"And I'd wager that he heard my comment..." muttered Sheppard.
Definitely so not his day!
*
"Sir?" asked Bates when Doggett passed him.
"Yes, Sergeant?" asked Doggett and eyed the man carefully.
"I wanted to warn you about Lt. Col. Sheppard," said Bates coolly.
Doggett smiled just as coolly and replied, "Thanks, but I'd like to make my own judgments about him. I don't need you tell me about my brother's opinion about Sheppard!"
With that he walked on and felt a grim satisfaction.
*
The day passed rather quickly for both of them, Sheppard and Doggett.
They were even home in time for dinner (that hardly happened) and Doggett saw his chance to talk to Sheppard.
He had had the feeling that the man was avoiding him all day long, but Doggett wanted something different.
Finding himself in an alien city in a different galaxy, discovering that his brother had died by the hands of 'vampire'-aliens, travelling by spaceship and wormhole by the means of the Stargate he had only thought a crazy drug-induced fantasy left him awed and with a few questions.
*
"Good evening," greeted Doggett friendly and motioned towards the free chair opposite to Sheppard. "This seat still free?"
Sheppard cringed slightly but then nodded. "Yeah, have a seat."
Doggett picked at his food before looking up and focusing on Sheppard. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"
The Colonel groaned silently. He had known that he couldn't avoid this if he couldn't avoid Doggett. But well, here he was... "Shoot," he said faintly.
"How long does it take until you start to realize this is true?"
Now Sheppard was startled and blinked at Doggett for a moment. He had expected everything but now he was lost for words. "I beg you pardon?"
Doggett laughed a bit uneasily. "I mean, this is... so totally different from what we are used to. Normally. It's huge. It's alien. There are aliens out there!"
Sheppard laughed as uneasily as Doggett. "Well, some time..."
They went silent again and ate for a few minutes.
"You thought I'd ask you about my brother, didn't you?" asked Doggett after a while, this time not looking up from his meal.
"Yeah," confessed the pilot. "Think so..."
"Don't think either of us is ready for that yet... as far as I understood you were with him... when he... you know..."
Sheppard smiled nervously. "I think we should talk about it once we're both ready for it!"
***
Roughly three (uneventful) weeks later...
***
Sheppard felt guilty again. He had reread his report about what had happened on the Hiveship with Sumner and now he felt so guilty.
He practically killed the man. He technically had killed the man.
He should have found another way to stop the wraith bitch and to rescue Sumner.
He had failed.
He felt miserable.
He should go and tell Doggett.
Confess his sins to the one man who deserved the truth.
After all he had avoided talking to Doggett about that for four weeks now.
***
"Hey... I just came around to see... how you are doing..." said Sheppard when Doggett opened the door for him.
Doggett shrugged. "Come in, I just was about to get drunk."
Sheppard laughed bitterly. "Nice idea."
"Care to come in and join me? I think there must be enough liquor here to finish both of us off," offered Doggett with a sly smirk.
Sheppard nodded and entered.
*
About two hours and at least two bottles of something strongly smelling later the two of them were in a state where they were laughing without any reason and then almost crying the next minute. They both knew that they wouldn't stay awake for long now.
*
When Sheppard awoke it was still dark outside and his head hurt like a mother. He was curled up to a warm body and this startled him.
Recognizing Doggett next to him was shocking. How had he ended up here?
Surely it was - although they were naked - a misunderstanding...
Sheppard hoped out of bed as silently as possible and dressed quickly before leaving the quarters.
Although he desperately wanted to go to sleep again he found himself unable to do so. It was hard for him to admit this to himself, but he was afraid.
So he lay awake for a few hours, grabbed breakfast and then retreated to his office. His explanation was that there still were reports to write and to go through.
He sat there hour after hour and it was already late afternoon when he got a - not so unexpected - visitor.
Doggett leaned against the doorframe and watched Sheppard for some time.
"Mind if I come in?"
"You are already half-ways in."
Doggett entered the small office and swept the room with a quick gaze. "I wanted to talk about yesterday evening," he stated almost by the way.
Doggett kept on talking almost senselessly until Sheppard lost his patience.
"Damnit, your just like him, ain't ya?" growled Sheppard. "You can't let it rest!"
To Doggett that felt like a slap in the face, which made him furious. "We nearly fucked, you walk away and then bring my dead brother up? Bastard!"
"We nearly...?" asked Sheppard in a high-pitched voice.
"Yeah, we nearly fucked. Almost. What did you think you were doing in bed with me, naked? What else might it have been that let you run away like a coward?"
John lowered his head. "I didn't know that we only nearly... god, I'm so stupid!"
He groaned and covered his face with his hands.
"Believe me, you are! You are a really stupid arsehole!"
Sheppard slowly shook his head. "No, I... I was afraid. I couldn't remember what had happened. I just... assumed, you know? I didn't want to be thrown out by you. I felt so guilty for everything. And right now I feel so sick of it all!"
Doggett shook his head. "Your right. I should let this rest."
Sheppard was too tired and to caught up in his own misery to realize that the other man had left.
***
Avoiding each other wasn't as hard at one might think with such a close-knit community.
They actually did so very successful for about two weeks.
Then Elizabeth started to protest and ordered John to take Doggett on another mission.
"Look, he knows his stuff, he can do the job. He was a marine and he was doing fine the last time! Get your act together. He won't stay much longer anyway..."
At this John looked up. "He's leaving? When?"
Elizabeth shrugged. "The next time Daedalus comes back here."
They both were silent for a moment and Elizabeth leaned back in her chair. "Why would you care, John? You don't seem to like him much. You should be happy he leaves."
John just stared at the floor like a boy who had just eaten the last cookies and couldn't deny it to his mother.
"John? You better try and work with him for the next mission. I know he won't complain but you don't have to make all this harder for him, you know?"
John started to speak up but Elizabeth lifted her hands.
"I know this is hard on you, too. You're always reminded of Sumner and although you didn't like him either you still feel guilty for relieving him of his pain."
"I'm not feeling... stuff it. I'll take Doggett on that mission, bring him back in one piece and he'll be gone for good, right?"
Elizabeth nodded and failed to see John's pained glance out of the window towards the Gate.
***
"It's a sad thing you don't stay much longer!" Carson said during Doggett's pre-mission check-up. "I enjoyed your company, as many others did, as well!"
Doggett smiled wryly. "Well, it's been a good time. But being home eventually won't be bad either. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the lot of you."
Beckett smiled, finished taking the blood pressure and pulse.
"You seem to be just as healthy as everyone else! But be so nice and lift your shirt a bit to grant me a last listen to your lungs!"
Doggett chuckled at the most original bedside manner of the Scot before pulling his shirt over his head.
"The stethoscope is cold," warned Carson before starting his last examination. "Inhale, Exhale. Fine. Cough. Good. Inhale again. And exhale. Very good!"
Sheppard chose that moment to enter the infirmary. He stared at Doggett for a moment and then addressed Beckett. "You're done with him?"
Carson shook his head smilingly. "Take him, Colonel. There's nothing wrong with the man. But be careful, he might be but a bit older than you are!"
Doggett pulled his shirt back on and then his jacket. "Thanks, Doc. It was a pleasure to meet you," he thanked Beckett and shook his hand.
"Ach, it was my pleasure, too. I just hope you don't leave any unfinished business behind!" smiled the MD and gripped Doggett's hand just a tad harder before releasing it.
***
Neither Doggett nor Sheppard spoke much to each other during the march over almost endless fields of flowers.
Both of them thought about what Beckett's words had implicated. They knew that Beckett knew and they knew that he knew that they knew.
Or something like that.
"You sure that these folks are peaceful, Teyla?" asked Sheppard after a while. "Well, I don't doubt you, yet, but we haven't seen much of them, either!"
Teyla smiled her usual gentle smile. "They are shy and usually their hunters don't greet the visitors. You will have to wait until we arrive at the village."
They did so after another half an hour and all of them where shocked.
The sight of burned houses and huts greeted them.
"What happened?" asked Teyla and they started to roam the village to see if they could find something or anything that indicated what might have happened.
*
And then things went fast, too fast for either of them to remember what exactly had happened. A Genii troop surprised them and they were split in groups of two - Teyla and Ronon and Sheppard and Doggett.
Later, Sheppard recalled seeing Teyla and Ronon head somewhere towards the Gate and he really hoped they'd return well. He and Doggett headed towards the mountains behind the village and found a cave to hide in.
*
The problem was that they had to go deeper into the cave to evade the Genii and the cave wasn't too stable.
But they only realized that when the ceiling was already coming down on them.
Doggett only got a few scraps while Sheppard was hit harder - a lot harder.
The stumbled on, deeper into the cave, Doggett helping Sheppard to stay upright.
*
"That's so typical! Two ways and we have to choose on!" muttered John when he saw the fork.
"We'll take the right path," decided Doggett.
"And why?" snapped Sheppard.
"Because I say so and you can try to take the left path on your own."
Sheppard winced. "Okay, we'll take the right path..."
*
It was sheer luck that they took the right turns and finally found their way out again.
When Sheppard and Doggett saw the light coming from the - possibly - exit, they both were relieved and dropped on the ground.
In just a few hours after the collapse of the cave, Sheppard's right leg had gone stiff and he was thankful for the pause.
"I guess we'll have to wait," muttered Doggett fumbling with their broke radios. "Who knows if the Genii are still out there."
Sheppard nodded. It had been almost two days they had spend in the maze of the cave and his injuries didn't feel better - especially his leg - after that long walk. But at least he had had the time to tell Doggett about the Genii and what problems they already had had with them.
But something had been left unsaid all the time. Something that was welling up now, with Sheppard's mind being distracted by pain.
"I'm so sorry," whispered Sheppard. "For... your brother... it is all my fault."
Doggett looked up to the hurt soldier. "What?"
More pain ghosted over Sheppard's features. "I'm... I'm so sorry. He was there with the Keeper and she asked him about Earth. She started feeding of him and he was in so much pain and I wanted to help him so badly."
Doggett turned away. His heart was clenching painfully. "You couldn't have helped him. The Wraiths are monsters. Stop being stupid!"
Pain, fatigue and guilt reigned Sheppard and he couldn't control the few tears running over his cheeks. There was more, he had to tell Doggett...
"I killed him!" called Sheppard towards the ceiling, closing his eyes.
Silence reigned for some minutes until Doggett uttered a croaked, "What?"
And then Sheppard started to babble. Later he couldn't remember what he had said and how often and how stupid it had sounded but finally Doggett came over and sat down next to Sheppard. He laid his hand loosely over Sheppard's mouth until the man stopped talking. It was hard for Sheppard to recognized Doggett's features but he didn't look that angry anymore.
"Sleep," whispered Doggett. "You need some rest! I forgive you."
It felt like a huge weight was lifted off Sheppard and he closed his eyes, falling asleep shortly after.
~~~~~~~~
Suddenly Doggett was so very close. John brushed his lips across the other man's and after staying close for the blink of an eye he almost jumped backwards.
"Sorry," he stammered, looking away and ruffling his hair. "God, I'm drunk... should go..."
Sheppard hurried to the door but was stopped by Doggett who pinned him against the wall with an amazing force for such a lean man.
"So you're drunk? I'm too..." whispered the man, grinning predatorily. He kissed Sheppard hungrily, biting the colonel's lower lip a bit harder than necessary. After the shock wore off John gave in to the demanding kiss and kissed Doggett back.
Sheppard grabbed Doggett by the collar, pulling him closer.
Soon they had to break apart because of the lack of air. Doggett took a few steps back, pulling Sheppard with him. "Come..."
Sheppard closed his eyes for a moment to contemplate the idea (but decided against it because he wasn't a teenager anymore), took and extra step to be near Doggett again and then followed him. On their way to the bedroom, Sheppard was already pulling on Doggett's clothes and Doggett sucked on Sheppard's neck, knowing it would leave a mark.
When they stumbled onto the bed, half falling, half being dragged down they began to laugh, trying to untangle and pulling off clothes in the process.
Doggett lay on top of Sheppard and was panting.
"God, I missed this! Missed the closeness..." whispered Sheppard.
"Let me take care of this!" grinned Doggett and Sheppard closed his eyes smilingly.
~~~~~~~~~
Sheppard woke and stared at the ceiling of the cave. He was cold and everything hurt, but a small fire burnt in his stomach. The dream - or memory - had been beautiful.
John looked around but Doggett wasn't there.
He tried not to panic. So he just closed his eyes and tried to remain calm.
At least his mind was clearer now after resting a bit. He wondered if Doggett had gotten any sleep. As far as he knew the man he would have stayed up all the time, looking after a - temporarily - mental soldier.
*
Perhaps he had dosed off for some time or it really only had been a few minutes until Doggett came back to their makeshift camp.
"I tried to dial them but I got no answer," sighed Doggett. "The damn radio is more or less broken!"
"They'll think we are at least held captive by the Genii," whispered Sheppard, eyes still closed. "Damnit, this hurts..."
Doggett came over and felt Sheppard's forehead. "No fever. Where does it hurt most?"
Sheppard pointed towards the torn sleeve over his bloodied left forearm and his right hip.
"Is it okay if I pull your trousers a bit down to look at your hip?"
After a curt nod Doggett did so and hissed at the sight of the dark purple bruise.
"Damnit, that's at least a pretty large bruise. And it's badly swollen. No wonder you can't move your leg!"
Sheppard smiled faintly in the half darkness. "Guess so... d'you think it'd be okay if I turn on my side? It sucks lying on my back all the time!"
Doggett nodded. "Sure. I'll help you, okay? I think it'd be good to get some pressure off your hip, too."
When they had turned Sheppard on his left side, they both were panting and anxious.
"That hurt. God! But thanks."
"Don't bother. I just wish I could contact Atlantis!"
Sheppard shook his head, facing away from Doggett. "We'll have to wait for a search party. We can't identify as ourselves and so we still could be the Genii trying to gain access to Atlantis."
Doggett pulled second blanket he had found in their backpacks over Sheppard.
"I know. This just sucks."
Sheppard sighed. Usually Doggett was a very venerable man - who didn't curse.
Silence reigned for a moment in which Doggett threw some twigs into the fire.
"You cold?" he asked and Sheppard nodded faintly. Although he was facing the tiny flames he was very cold.
For a moment Sheppard heard only the rustling of clothes and then he felt Doggett's lean framed pressed against his back.
"Better," crocked Sheppard and blushed.
"Sleep a bit!" whispered Doggett and although Sheppard had only woken up he drifted off to dreamland again.
*
Sheppard wasn't sure about how much time passed. He was napping and then lying awake in the darkness, often alone because as soon as Sheppard woke, Doggett got out and tried to find something to eat.
The pilot had to admit that Doggett wasn't that bad a hunter, not at all.
He also had to admit that he liked the tender touches when Doggett checked his temperature with his hand or had a look at his bruised hip and elbow. He was getting attracted to Doggett, or already was. And that was scary.
"Whacha thinking about?" asked Doggett and suppressed a yawn.
"You," confessed Sheppard, still lost in thought and blushing hard when he realized he had said that aloud.
"Huh?" replied Doggett and moved from where he had been leaning on the wall over to John and eyed him for a sign of an answer.
But Sheppard turned away as good as possible and they both sighed.
"You know what? I get the impression that you think about what almost happened between us. But you don't have to worry. I'll be gone for good. No one will ever know."
"I know. And it leaves me wondering... hell, I don't want you to go!"
Now Doggett blinked even more confused. "What?"
"I... might have a slight... infatuation with you. But you found out about what happened to your brother now. I can't blame you for wanting to go now."
Doggett laughed silently and touched Sheppard's face tenderly before getting his gear. "I think we need something to eat."
Sheppard nodded, pale and shivering. "And while you're at it, could you please hunt down some Tylenol, too? My hip's killing me!"
Although he tried to sleep a bit, he couldn't. Something kept nagging him in his subconscious and after some time he started to worry about Doggett on top of that. It took the man too long.
Had the Genii come back? Had they taken Doggett?
***
"Hey, Sheppard!" called Doggett happily. "Sorry it took so long but I've got a surprise for you! Sheppard?"
Not getting an answer made Doggett incredibly nervous. He rushed to the small fireplace and shook the still form of John Sheppard.
"I think he's unconscious!" called Doggett and was relieved when Atlantis' medical team took over. He had felt almost like in a dream when he had seen rescue party. Finally he and Sheppard were able to escape this.
"He's unconscious but stable," announced Beckett. "Let's get him over to the Jumper and then we'll head for Atlantis.
Doggett nodded and worry for Sheppard grabbed him. Sheppard hadn't looked okay at all but as soon as they carried him out of the cave, Doggett saw the full extend of it for the first time.
He was pale and his cheeks sunken in, eyes red-rimmed and his hurt forearm looked terribly with the angry red and dark brown scurf. He wondered if he should have cleaned the wound. On the other hand it didn't look like it was infected or something.
He still was thinking about all that when they left the Jumper in Atlantis and he was walking down the hall towards the infirmary. He didn't notice Caldwell in the hall.
"Ah, there you are, Doggett! We are about to take off. I can postpone the flight for about two hours," said Caldwell. "I hope you have your things packed up already."
Doggett blinked. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll catch the flight in time. I still have to go through post-mission and so on."
"We've got a doctor on board."
Doggett closed his eyes for a moment. "Look, I don't have packed and I don't feel well leaving in such a hurry. I'd rather stay a bit, okay?"
Now Caldwell frowned. "You would have to wait for another month."
"Really, that's okay. I think I solved my problems with Sheppard. I need to stay."
Caldwell frowned even more, but nodded then.
Doggett almost sighed in relieve, nodded at Caldwell and walked on towards the infirmary. He needed to get through the medicals as fast as possible to see how Sheppard was. He felt a bit guilty for leaving the man on his own for so long.
Entering the infirmary he saw no sign of Beckett or Sheppard and simply sat down on a bed. He only noticed now, amidst all this cleanness, how dirty he was. He was tired and hurt, but soon enough his head filled with worries for Sheppard again.
That was why he almost didn't notice Beckett, just as he had not seen Caldwell.
"Here you are again!" smiled the Scot.
"Here I am again," replied Doggett wearily. "How's Sheppard?"
Beckett's smile broadened. "Sleeping. Fine. We used something remotely alike leeches to treat the bruise on his hip. He should be able to move his leg properly soon enough. What about you? Have you been sitting here for the last three hours?"
Doggett blinked like an owl. "Three hours?"
Carson's smile softened and he tilted his head to one side. "Aye. It's been about three hours since we returned. But if I look at you it seems like you have been here for the last few hours. Let me help you to get out of these filthy clothes."
Doggett stripped down to his boxers, let himself be checked by Beckett, put on the scrubs Atlantis CMO handed him and lay down in the bed he had been sitting on.
"You have a few abrasions, a minor bruised ankle and are really fatigued. Sleep and a good meal should cure you in no time."
Doggett nodded and noted, while closing his eyes, that he had never stopped thinking about Sheppard the whole time.
*
The next day Doggett was released from the infirmary after lunch but he returned showered and dressed in fresh clothes to sit by Sheppard's side.
His mind was still racing. The man had confessed that he had killed Marshall, but he also seemed very burdened with this guilt.
Doggett didn't know what to think. Should he be angry or grateful for that mercy shot?
Being sent away after two hours didn't help his fragile state of mind at all.
Sitting next to Sheppard, or so he had realized, his worries were on a minimum.
And so he returned to Sheppard's side the first thing after another good nights sleep.
Sheppard woke up about two hours after Doggett had sat down and blinked against the harsh sunlight.
His complexion was a bit better and his eyes, too.
Then he saw Doggett and they simply stared at each other.
One of them broke the silence with a silently uttered joke and as soon as the spell was broken they started to chat lively.
They only stopped when the nurse sent Doggett away for lunch and told him to return not until the late afternoon.
Grinning broadly Doggett accepted and followed her orders, although he stretched her visiting hours limitation by half an hour in the evening.
And he did another thing. When he finally told himself to go, he waited for a moment, bent down to Sheppard, kissed him good night and vanished almost instantly.
Sheppard's heart was racing after the kiss. Granted, it had been short and only a press of closed lips on closed lips, but it sent a cascade of fireworks loose in his belly.
The question 'Do I want Doggett or is this some mental thing about apologizing to Sumner' suddenly seemed so senseless. It was clear to Sheppard that he wanted Doggett. He wanted something like their kiss and their almost night together more often.
***
Neither of them spoke about the kiss or anything remotely connected to it until Sheppard was allowed to return to his own quarters a few days later.
His leg was better indeed and he was able to move around on crutches.
Doggett accompanied him and smiled proudly when Sheppard made the whole way from the sick bay to his quarters without a pause.
Once inside his domain, Sheppard fell down on the bed and sighed contently, while Doggett was feeling like a trapped mouse. His nervousness started to spike.
"I think we need to talk," he muttered, sitting down on the offered spot on the bed.
Sheppard blinked at him, his goofy grin vanishing. "Well. I don't think so."
Nervousness replaced with curiosity, Doggett looked questioningly at Sheppard.
"Who needs to talk if they can kiss?" asked Sheppard and to prove his theory he pulled Doggett down, pressing his lips against the FBI agents, opening his mouth slightly and ran his tongue over the other man's lips.
Doggett responded, answering Sheppard's kiss with passion.
"It's so sad that you have to leave so soon!" whispered Sheppard half an hour later. They had been kissing like teenagers, groping carefully.
Doggett laughed softly.
"You don't have to laugh. It's only two days until you leave, right?"
"No. It's almost two weeks. We've been gone for a week and when we returned I..."
"... had missed my flight?" suggested Sheppard hopefully.
"No. Caldwell suggested delaying the flight for two hours. I declined."
Now Sheppard gasped surprised. "You...?"
"... did the dumbest thing in all your life?"
The colonel shook his head. "No. You stayed for me?"
"Sure, you daft soldier!" He proved his words with another long, gentle kiss. "For now, I'll stay!"
(Crappy) End
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Date: 2005-12-25 04:21 am (UTC)The question 'Do I want Doggett or is this some mental thing about apologizing to Sumner' suddenly seemed so senseless.
I'm a sucker for understatement, and yet, need my subtext served upside the head with a frying pan (http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&q=upside%20the%20head%20with%20a%20frying%20pan&spell=1&sa=N&tab=wi). The nice thing about the phrase I cited above is that you let Sheppard realize both that he's been asking that question and what the answer is at the same time. Up to that point, you let us be confused with him, but in a way that works nicely.
Thank you for my fic. You did something interesting with a completely inadequate hint from me.