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sga_santaTitle: The Worst Place on Earth
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
clwilson2006
Recipient:djsosm
Pairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Needless to say, Nothing related to Stargate:Atlantis belongs to me.
Author's Notes: Post season 5. Earthside Fic. Slash-ish. Many Thanks tosno_pea for the speedy and wonderful beta.
Summary: John Manages to get Rodney to participate in his least favorite activity.
"No. No. Absolutely not." Rodney crossed his arms and glared out the front of the car.
"C'mon, Rodney, you have to do this properly." John watched Rodney as he steadfastly looked out of the window.
"Well properly for me is a mug of coffee, my credit card and a laptop."
"And I told you, that is acceptable for everyone else. You have to pull out all the stops for kids these days."
"So why can't I order stuff on-line for Madison?"
"You have to test the toys first, Rodney," John sighed, arguing with Rodney gave him a headache.
"But you want me to go in there, eight days from Christmas. I'd rather face a week of performance reviews for Woolsey, or go hand to hand with a Wraith. I'd even prefer to work in my lab with all those morons the IOA keeps sending me."
John didn't doubt the last one. Despite his moaning, Rodney would love nothing more than to lock himself in his lab and ignore the rest of the universe throughout the entire holiday season. He probably would if Jeannie would let him. Even John wasn't man enough to face Madison and tell her that 'Uncle Mer' wouldn't be around for Christmas.
"Well you can go do one of those if you want, but I'm not telling Madison why you're not there."
Rodney's head whipped round and he gaped at John.
"You wouldn't," he gasped.
John bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn't laugh.
"Well I'm Favourite Uncle John so I'm going to be there."
"You're just scared of Jeannie."
"I am not!"
"You are! I cannot believe you are letting my sister and a six year old girl bully you into a Tofurkey dinner."
"They're vegetarian?" John sounded worried.
"You didn't know?" A hint of a smile played about Rodney's lips. "You didn't know. Ha. You chose to have Christmas dinner with no meat and a six year old! You are going to need the rest of your January leave to recover."
"We'll be there for Ten days. We can always sneak out for a nice steak a couple of times."
"Ten days," Rodney sighed. "I've been held by the Genii for less time and had more fun."
"It'll be fun, Rodney." John wiggled his eyebrows. "I'll entertain you."
"Well I've not exactly told Jeannie about us. So I expect it will be separate bedrooms."
John frowned.
"So why did they ask me, if they don't know about me, us."
"How should I know? I have massive security clearance. I can keep a secret."
"But you can't lie. So something must have tipped her off."
"Or maybe she just thinks you'll be lonely." Rodney smirked
"I could have stayed on Atlantis."
"What, with all the IOA inspectors?" Rodney did not believe this for one second. "I don't think so. Even Radek wouldn't stay for that."
"So who's watching the labs?"
"Miko and Goldstein."
"Ah."
"Who'd you leave there in charge of the Military? And don't say Lorne, because the poor guy needs time off more than you."
"Caldwell." John smirked. "He's after my job, so I figured he could handle this. Besides, Lorne's sister is scarier than yours."
Rodney snorted.
"I bet he doesn't have to drive hundreds of miles and go shopping on the way."
John looked away.
"What?" Rodney said sounding suspicious.
"The Daedalus is beaming him home tomorrow."
"How come we don't have the Daedalus to beam us to Jeannie's house? I mean, other than not letting them know you're coming to my family for Christmas?"
"That was pretty much the whole idea."
"So I get all this quality time with a fly-boy who drives a Honda like it's a puddlejumper?"
"It would go quicker if we didn't have to stop every hour for coffee."
"It would go quicker if you didn't want to stop here." Rodney gestured out of the partially steamed up window.
"Well there's Coffee here too." John pointed to the corner of the building, as he wiped the condensation from the window so Rodney could see the familiar circular Starbucks logo.
"Oh. Good idea."
John dropped his hand onto Rodney's thigh.
"After shopping."
"Well...... you could go do the shopping and I'll go get coffee," Rodney said hopefully.
John's hand started to rub little circles.
"Coffee after." The look on John's face made Rodney briefly wonder after what?
In the tiny moment of Rodney's silence, John's hand crept upwards to cup Rodney's crotch.
Rodney squeaked, "In public!" while not making any attempt to remove John's hand.
"We're pretty steamed up in here already." John leaned closer.
"You know the quicker we get the shopping done, the quicker we will get to the coffee, and then to the better part of the day." John gave Rodney the puppy-dog-eyes look.
Rodney moved quickly, swinging his door open and stepping out of the car, only to be yanked back by his seatbelt. "Ooff."
John roared with laughter, while Rodney glared and fumbled to undo the seatbelt. Eventually slamming the door after freeing himself from the car. Rodney circled to the front of the vehicle and joined John, who was still laughing.
"Get a cart, fly-boy," Rodney snapped.
"Yes Grinch." John wandered over to a young mother loading bags into the trunk of a station wagon, a screaming baby strapped into the back seat. Flashing her a blinding smile he asked, "May I have your cart, Ma'am?"
She flushed and smiled back at him. "Sure," and, removing the last bag, handed it to him.
Rodney was glaring at him, again.
"Kirk," Rodney muttered as they made their way across the parking lot.
"Shut up and walk," John hissed back.
"You could have tried to park a little closer," Rodney half-heartedly grumbled.
"I could chase you with a bow and arrow if it would make you more comfortable." John was back to smirking again.
Rodney ignored him and sped up to cross in front of a slow moving vehicle. John pushed off the curb and used the cart to free wheel after him.
"Oh for crying out loud, you are so twelve." Rodney shoved John off the cart and took control of it.
Obviously ignoring the overly cheerful young woman dressed as an elf greeting customers at the door, Rodney wheeled the shopping cart under the brightly lit sign. "Toys R Us" it read.
Author:
clwilson2006Recipient:
djsosmPairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Needless to say, Nothing related to Stargate:Atlantis belongs to me.
Author's Notes: Post season 5. Earthside Fic. Slash-ish. Many Thanks to
sno_pea for the speedy and wonderful beta.Summary: John Manages to get Rodney to participate in his least favorite activity.
"No. No. Absolutely not." Rodney crossed his arms and glared out the front of the car.
"C'mon, Rodney, you have to do this properly." John watched Rodney as he steadfastly looked out of the window.
"Well properly for me is a mug of coffee, my credit card and a laptop."
"And I told you, that is acceptable for everyone else. You have to pull out all the stops for kids these days."
"So why can't I order stuff on-line for Madison?"
"You have to test the toys first, Rodney," John sighed, arguing with Rodney gave him a headache.
"But you want me to go in there, eight days from Christmas. I'd rather face a week of performance reviews for Woolsey, or go hand to hand with a Wraith. I'd even prefer to work in my lab with all those morons the IOA keeps sending me."
John didn't doubt the last one. Despite his moaning, Rodney would love nothing more than to lock himself in his lab and ignore the rest of the universe throughout the entire holiday season. He probably would if Jeannie would let him. Even John wasn't man enough to face Madison and tell her that 'Uncle Mer' wouldn't be around for Christmas.
"Well you can go do one of those if you want, but I'm not telling Madison why you're not there."
Rodney's head whipped round and he gaped at John.
"You wouldn't," he gasped.
John bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn't laugh.
"Well I'm Favourite Uncle John so I'm going to be there."
"You're just scared of Jeannie."
"I am not!"
"You are! I cannot believe you are letting my sister and a six year old girl bully you into a Tofurkey dinner."
"They're vegetarian?" John sounded worried.
"You didn't know?" A hint of a smile played about Rodney's lips. "You didn't know. Ha. You chose to have Christmas dinner with no meat and a six year old! You are going to need the rest of your January leave to recover."
"We'll be there for Ten days. We can always sneak out for a nice steak a couple of times."
"Ten days," Rodney sighed. "I've been held by the Genii for less time and had more fun."
"It'll be fun, Rodney." John wiggled his eyebrows. "I'll entertain you."
"Well I've not exactly told Jeannie about us. So I expect it will be separate bedrooms."
John frowned.
"So why did they ask me, if they don't know about me, us."
"How should I know? I have massive security clearance. I can keep a secret."
"But you can't lie. So something must have tipped her off."
"Or maybe she just thinks you'll be lonely." Rodney smirked
"I could have stayed on Atlantis."
"What, with all the IOA inspectors?" Rodney did not believe this for one second. "I don't think so. Even Radek wouldn't stay for that."
"So who's watching the labs?"
"Miko and Goldstein."
"Ah."
"Who'd you leave there in charge of the Military? And don't say Lorne, because the poor guy needs time off more than you."
"Caldwell." John smirked. "He's after my job, so I figured he could handle this. Besides, Lorne's sister is scarier than yours."
Rodney snorted.
"I bet he doesn't have to drive hundreds of miles and go shopping on the way."
John looked away.
"What?" Rodney said sounding suspicious.
"The Daedalus is beaming him home tomorrow."
"How come we don't have the Daedalus to beam us to Jeannie's house? I mean, other than not letting them know you're coming to my family for Christmas?"
"That was pretty much the whole idea."
"So I get all this quality time with a fly-boy who drives a Honda like it's a puddlejumper?"
"It would go quicker if we didn't have to stop every hour for coffee."
"It would go quicker if you didn't want to stop here." Rodney gestured out of the partially steamed up window.
"Well there's Coffee here too." John pointed to the corner of the building, as he wiped the condensation from the window so Rodney could see the familiar circular Starbucks logo.
"Oh. Good idea."
John dropped his hand onto Rodney's thigh.
"After shopping."
"Well...... you could go do the shopping and I'll go get coffee," Rodney said hopefully.
John's hand started to rub little circles.
"Coffee after." The look on John's face made Rodney briefly wonder after what?
In the tiny moment of Rodney's silence, John's hand crept upwards to cup Rodney's crotch.
Rodney squeaked, "In public!" while not making any attempt to remove John's hand.
"We're pretty steamed up in here already." John leaned closer.
"You know the quicker we get the shopping done, the quicker we will get to the coffee, and then to the better part of the day." John gave Rodney the puppy-dog-eyes look.
Rodney moved quickly, swinging his door open and stepping out of the car, only to be yanked back by his seatbelt. "Ooff."
John roared with laughter, while Rodney glared and fumbled to undo the seatbelt. Eventually slamming the door after freeing himself from the car. Rodney circled to the front of the vehicle and joined John, who was still laughing.
"Get a cart, fly-boy," Rodney snapped.
"Yes Grinch." John wandered over to a young mother loading bags into the trunk of a station wagon, a screaming baby strapped into the back seat. Flashing her a blinding smile he asked, "May I have your cart, Ma'am?"
She flushed and smiled back at him. "Sure," and, removing the last bag, handed it to him.
Rodney was glaring at him, again.
"Kirk," Rodney muttered as they made their way across the parking lot.
"Shut up and walk," John hissed back.
"You could have tried to park a little closer," Rodney half-heartedly grumbled.
"I could chase you with a bow and arrow if it would make you more comfortable." John was back to smirking again.
Rodney ignored him and sped up to cross in front of a slow moving vehicle. John pushed off the curb and used the cart to free wheel after him.
"Oh for crying out loud, you are so twelve." Rodney shoved John off the cart and took control of it.
Obviously ignoring the overly cheerful young woman dressed as an elf greeting customers at the door, Rodney wheeled the shopping cart under the brightly lit sign. "Toys R Us" it read.
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no subject
Date: 2009-12-23 09:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-23 04:26 pm (UTC)This was so adorable! :D I'm all grin!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-23 05:42 pm (UTC)Although I am surprised that Rodney doesn't demand equal time at a 'grown up' toy store... like Best Buy or any big-box Electronics store!!!
Nice!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-23 09:33 pm (UTC)Thanks to share;
no subject
Date: 2009-12-24 01:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-24 04:54 am (UTC)The Worst Place on Earth
Date: 2009-12-24 06:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-24 01:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-24 10:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 09:11 pm (UTC)Thanks for the story.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-03 04:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-05 04:25 pm (UTC)