Fic: Reaffirming Life (Emmagan/Lorne, Emmagan/Lorne/Sheppard, NC-17)

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Title: Reaffirming Life
Author: kimberlite
Recipient: trillingstar, who wanted John Sheppard (don't we all?) and Teyla/Lorne.
Pairing: Teyla/Lorne, Teyla/Lorne/Sheppard
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~3,000
Disclaimer: SGA does not belong to me, I'm just having fun.
Author's Notes: Takes place around Coup D'etat, so a couple lines of dialogue are from the episode. Thanks, as always, to splix for encouragement and beta.
Summary: Seize the day.

---

The puddle jumper settled gently onto the field near the Athosian settlement. John Sheppard opened the rear hatch and turned to his passengers. "All ashore that's going ashore."

The assortment of scientists and Marines were already eagerly heading for the harvest celebration. A few called out 'thank you' as they disembarked. John waved in acknowledgement. "Don't forget your jackets, kids, it'll get cold after dark."

When the jumper was empty, John secured the controls and stepped out into the sunny but brisk afternoon. The Athosians were preparing a feast, and it seemed that everyone was busy helping. He'd spent the last several hours ferrying people from Atlantis, but now he was on his own time. The forest surrounding the settlement was a riot of gold and red leaves, evidence that the mainland would soon be slipping into winter. It was a nice change.

Before he was noticed, John skirted the perimeter and set off into the trees. He breathed deeply, relaxing and enjoying the dappled sunlight and crisp air. He found himself following an animal path, and soon heard the sound of running water. He crested a slight rise and was starting down the slope to the stream when he heard a groan and a bubbling of laughter. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and instinctively turned toward it, only to discover Teyla and Lorne hidden amidst an outcrop of granite.

John froze. Quiet noises continued to echo through the trees, nearly covered by the rushing of the water. He knew he should leave and give them their privacy, and yet he seemed rooted to the spot. Lorne was sitting with his back against a large monolith, looking up at Teyla, who was straddling him. Her long coat provided more than enough coverage so that John couldn't see anything, but even without exposed skin it was abundantly clear from her steady, rocking movements that they were fucking. John felt his face flush and his heart rate speed up. He shouldn't be watching them.

Lorne shifted his hands from Teyla's hips, sliding them upward until he was caressing her breasts. Teyla arched into the touch, her expression one of joy and pleasure. They were both so beautiful. John bit his lip, shocked to feel the intensity of need that rushed through him. He shouldn't want them.

Teyla leaned forward and trailed kisses from Lorne's neck to his smiling lips. Her hands framed his face, holding him still while she explored his mouth. John was hypnotized by the scene before him. When they broke the kiss, Teyla rested her forehead against Lorne's briefly before straightening and beginning to move with renewed intent.

John had to stifle a groan. It was clear from their expressions that this wasn't simply a casual tryst. A small part of his mind wondered how long they had been together, how they managed to keep their relationship out of their public interactions, but mostly he was being swept up in the passion that radiated from them, and the pain of knowing he couldn't have them.

Lorne worked his hands beneath Teyla's coat. John couldn't see if he was gripping her hips or touching her more intimately, but they were obviously nearing climax. Teyla turned to meet John's gaze, smiled, and came. He gasped out loud, caught between the warmth in Teyla's eyes and his own bright flare of shame.

John fled.

*****

"We need to talk."

John crossed his sticks to defend against Teyla's strike, twisted to the side to deflect the blow, then retreated cautiously. He'd spent the last three days using McKay and Ronon as a buffer and desperately trying to believe that if he ignored the situation hard enough it would go away.

Teyla advanced, circling him, poised to attack. John waited until it was obvious she wasn't going to engage before striking out. The loud crack of wood against wood reverberated around them as they sparred. "I'm sorry," John offered. "I had no right to watch."

"It was unintentional." Teyla spun away, her skirt flying out from her legs. "And not unwelcome."

John raised his eyebrows and kept his sticks up. "That's hard to believe. Lorne --"

"Evan explained that he can neither ask nor tell, but I can assure you that we are in accord." Teyla lowered her sticks and stepped closer to John. "We would both be pleased to have you join us."

John stared at her, stunned into silence. He'd never imagined he'd receive such a generous offer. "I can't."

"Can't." Teyla's expression turned solemn. She tilted her head and reached out slowly until her palm was against John's face. She stroked his cheek with her thumb. "Do you want to?"

"Of course." John closed his eyes, allowing himself to soak up her touch for a moment before stepping back. "But I can't."

"You feel this strongly."

John nodded.

"Can you tell me why?" Teyla asked encouragingly.

John really didn't want to, but under the circumstances he owed her something. "I had a...bad experience with a superior officer." He took a deep breath and moved on. "I'm Lorne's commanding officer and your team leader. I can't take advantage of that."

Teyla dipped her head then held his gaze. "I am sorry you were hurt." She paused for a moment. "I trust that you would not abuse the chain of command."

"I appreciate your faith in me." John smiled sadly. "I still can't."

"I respect your decision," Teyla said, placing her hands on John's shoulders, "but know that the offer stands."

"Thank you." John leaned down and touched his forehead to hers.

*****

John woke with a gasp, groaning in disgust as he realized he'd come in his sleep. Damn it. Shakily, he got out of bed and thought the shower on. He discarded his t-shirt and boxers and stepped beneath the spray. This had to stop. When he'd become the military commander of Atlantis, he'd resigned himself to celibacy. And really, it hadn't been that difficult. In fact, he'd been so busy and stressed and engaged with life in Pegasus that he hadn't even felt the need to jerk off very often. But suddenly he couldn't stop thinking -- or apparently dreaming -- of sex.

Of course, it wasn't just generic sex. He'd always been more attracted to the individual rather than a type, and with Teyla and Lorne it was no different. Teyla's calm strength had drawn him in from the first moment they'd met. Working with her, sparring with her, trusting her had only strengthened that connection. She had an inner beauty that shone through, making her even more gorgeous.

John hastily grabbed the shampoo, working it through his hair. Lorne had hit him more slowly. Sure, he'd noticed that Lorne was good-looking, but he'd assumed Lorne was straight and, as his 2IC, off limits. However, they had a lot in common, and John was constantly surprised by Lorne's sense of humor, his ability to snark -- especially at McKay -- and just how competent he was at everything. Knowing that his attention would be welcome had thrown John for a loop.

Damn it. He wanted them both and couldn't have them. He'd just have to control himself. John stuck his head under the water and closed his eyes, determined not to see anything but darkness.

*****

John stepped carefully around the fallen beams, trying to see in the smoky darkness. "Ah, I got something." He kicked away the charred wood and grabbed his knife, squatting down to get a closer look at the body. He used his knife to lift the chain from around the neck. "Damn it."

"What?" Ronon asked, pointing his light in John's direction.

"Dog tags." John stood up slowly, trying to read them. His stomached dropped. "These are Lorne's." He bit his lips against the pain, schooling his face not to show emotion. He reached for the tags and sheathed his knife before turning to face Ronon and Teyla.

Ronon's arm was around Teyla, his expression protective yet fierce. "We will find out who did this and make them pay."

John looked on helplessly as Teyla leaned into Ronon, obviously taking strength from him. He wanted to help but stood there awkwardly, unable to reach out. Soon, Teyla stepped back, standing straight, her expression guarded but calm. "We need to get them home."

John nodded, grateful to have something to do. "Let's get McKay and then radio Atlantis."

*****

John left Elizabeth's office, ready to call it a night. He draped his jacket over his desk chair then sat to take off his boots. As he got ready for bed, he tried to relax, but he was still wound up from the high of bringing his people home safely. He turned off the lights and got under the covers, trying to breathe slowly and evenly. His mind, however, kept racing through the emotions of the day. He couldn't forget the sickening feeling of believing Lorne was dead, of not being able to help Teyla. He'd gotten damn lucky this time.

John tossed and turned, unable to settle or shut down his thoughts. The future was uncertain. He'd always know that, come face to face with death more times than he wanted to count. This was no different. He could ignore his feelings, not think about losing what he didn't have. What he wanted....

Shit. John untangled himself from the sheets and got up, pulling on his clothes and heading for Teyla's quarters before he could talk himself out of it. He figured they'd be together, and her rooms were more comfortable, more personal. He knocked quietly, perhaps subconsciously hoping they wouldn't hear.

The door slid open and Teyla's voice floated from the shadows. "Come in, John."

Startled, John stepped inside, letting the door shut behind him. Unless Teyla had suddenly developed the gene, Lorne was, indeed, here, too. "I'm sorry," he began, haltingly. "I don't want to bother you." The lights rose so John could clearly see them curled together in bed.

"You aren't bothering us, sir," Lorne said. "Please, join us."

John tensed, forcibly reminded of the reason he shouldn't be here.

"It is all right." Teyla reached out a bare arm and motioned John closer. "We trust you. Trust yourself."

"I shouldn't do this, but I need...." John moved closer. "I promise I'll try my best not to mess things up."

"I have always known you as an honorable man." Teyla smiled as John sat beside her. "It will be all right."

John nodded, hoping she was correct but still needing to be reassured. "Lorne?"

"I want this." Lorne shifted until he was sitting bare-chested next to John, Teyla's brightly patterned blankets pooling over his lap. "May I?"

"Yes," John said breathlessly, leaning closer.

Lorne placed his hand on the back of John's neck and drew him close.

John felt the chain of his dog tags press into the back of his neck under the solid pressure of Lorne's hand, and shivered in response. Unbidden, his eyes dropped to Lorne's neck, naked without his tags, and John flashed to the charred remains and the tags he'd removed from them. "Damn it, we thought we'd lost you," he whispered brokenly.

"Cheated death again," Lorne assured him before brushing their lips together.

John deepened the kiss, needing to feel the reality of Lorne's presence. Lorne gave back as good as he got, and John reached out, sinking his hands into Lorne's hair as the intensity rose. Teyla's hand rubbed his back and John could feel the heat of her bare skin as she fitted herself along his side.

"I am grateful to have you both here," Teyla said.

Lorne broke the kiss and turned John so he was held in Teyla's embrace. "I want to see you kiss."

John grinned and obeyed, gently touching his lips to Teyla's, his hands skimming over her warm skin. Where Lorne was blunt, hard muscle, she was graceful, soft strength. The contrast was incredibly appealing.

"You look so hot," Lorne murmured. "But one of you is over-dressed."

Teyla laughed against John's lips. "We will have to remedy the situation immediately," she said playfully.

Lorne tugged John's black t-shirt up, and John lifted his arms cooperatively. "I've got the rest."

"I don't think so," Lorne said, pushing John back to lie on the bed. "I think we'll all enjoy it more if you let us help."

Teyla and Lorne maneuvered out from under the covers, each removing one loosely tied boot. "I didn't realize feet could go commando," Lorne teased when John's lack of socks became apparent.

John blushed. He'd been so focused on getting to them, he hadn't even noticed. And now, he couldn't take his eyes away from their naked bodies, whole and alive and beautiful.

Lorne unbuttoned John's BDU pants, fingers stroking along John's hardening cock. "Lift your hips."

John held back a groan, liking the touch and the command.

Teyla helped Lorne tug pants and boxers down John's legs. Then she smiled wickedly and kissed the arch of John's foot.

"Teyla," John gasped, unable to keep silent.

Lorne started with John's other foot, and together they kissed and licked their way up John's legs. By the time they reached his cock, John was in an agony of pleasure. "Wait," he cried, tangling his hands in their hair.

They both stopped and looked up. "Yes?" Lorne asked, smirking just a little.

"Don't want to come yet."

Teyla ran her fingers through John's chest hair. "What would you like?"

John bit his lip and closed his eyes, unable to ask.

"She asked you a question," Lorne said firmly. "Answer it."

John's eyes snapped open, widening as he realized Lorne understood. "Yeah, that's good. Anything. Everything."

"We have discussed what we would like to do with you," Teyla said, a mixture of hunger and humor on her face.

"Then I'm in your hands," John said, trusting that it would be good.

Lorne reached over to the bedside table, took the lid off a ceramic pot and retrieved two condoms.

John raised his eyebrows. "And here I thought you were displaying a cultural heirloom."

Teyla swatted John's shoulder and Lorne laughed. "There's lube in the other one."

John almost choked. "Be prepared?"

"Definitely." Lorne tore open the first packet and worked the condom onto John's cock. "You're going to fuck Teyla, and I'm going to fuck you."

A bolt of excitement burst through John. "Okay." Teyla lay down next to him and he rolled onto his side to face her.

Teyla rested her forehead against John's. "I've wanted this for a long time, John."

"Teyla...." John leaned in to kiss her. He wanted this so much he hurt.

Lorne's voice cut through the haze of arousal. "Don't make her wait."

John felt Teyla shift, and suddenly he was on top of her, cradled between her thighs. "Neat trick," he panted.

"And not the only one I know." Teyla smiled and closed her hand around John's cock. "Get on your knees."

John hurried to obey. "Shit," he gasped as Teyla wrapped her legs around him, taking his cock in one smooth thrust. His hips involuntarily pushed against hers, picking up her rhythm. She was wet and hot and John couldn't get enough.

Lorne slapped John's ass. "Hold still a moment."

"Can't," John moaned and kept moving, wanting to see what Lorne would do.

Lorne hit him again. "Be still," he said sharply.

John froze. "Please...."

"Your skin is turning pink." Lorne rubbed his hand over John's ass before spanking it again and again. "Do you like that?"

"Yes," John growled, the heat building.

"You're going to feel that when I fuck you."

"Yes, do it." John rested his head on Teyla's breasts as he waited for Lorne to get ready. He jumped at the first touch, tightening even though it was what he wanted.

"You done this before?" Lorne asked suspiciously.

"Just been a long time," John gritted out.

"Okay, no need to get touchy, old man."

"Come on," John whined.

"Boys, focus," Teyla said, beginning to rub soothing patterns on John's shoulders and back.

Lorne returned his fingers to John's ass, circling and gently pressing until he could slip one in. "You good?"

"Yeah, more." John tried to stay relaxed as Lorne stretched him. He grunted as Lorne's cock pushed in. Teyla shifted beneath him and suddenly Lorne was filling him completely. "Damn." He'd forgotten how fucking fantastic it felt.

"It's okay, I got you." Lorne gripped John's hips, waiting until the tension in his shoulders lessened before pulling out and thrusting back in. "Now, Teyla, move with us."

John let himself be pushed and pulled between them, amazed that it was actually working. He nuzzled at Teyla's neck, her murmurs of pleasure increasing his own. Lorne was pounding into him, hips slapping against his already sensitive skin. All of a sudden, everything spiraled out of control. Teyla arched up with a cry, tightening around him. Lorne bit his shoulder and thrust hard, freezing deep inside. John's orgasm exploded through him, awesome and overwhelming.

When he could focus again, John felt Lorne's weight against his back pushing him onto Teyla. He was probably crushing her, though at the moment she wasn't complaining. He lifted himself up a bit and Lorne took the hint, rolling them both to the side. John groaned as they slipped free of each other.

"Here." Lorne handed John a kleenex to take care of the condom.

"Thanks."

Teyla pulled the blanket up and snuggled against John. "Most satisfactory."

"Satisfactory?" John wanted to be insulted, but was still floating.

"Most satisfactory," Lorne corrected, plastering himself against John and patting Teyla's arm.

John thought the lights down and allowed himself to drift along the echoes of pleasure. "Yeah, that works."