Dreaming of a Dark!fic Christmas

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Things I'd like: McKay/Sheppard slash, dark or angsty, where they're both cracked, warped or disturbed in some way and are not only lovers but partners in crime, and/or each other's stabilizing influence. Alternately, one is messed up and the other covers for him, controls him, and/or helps get whatever fix he needs. Murder, torture, fistfights, sword fights and explosions much welcome. Supporting characters can be "normal," or likewise disturbed, but must be a canon race/species. Would love to see supporting characters covering up the McShep madness. Prefer Atlantis as the setting, but anything will work, including AU. Can be a Firefly, Highlander, Farscape, SG-1 or Due South crossover. I'd love to see any of these other characters: Teyla, Ronon, Lorne, Radek, Miko, Kanaan, Cadman, Teldy, Carson (original or clone), Keller, Chuck, Caldwell, Carter, Ellis or Elizabeth. Wouldn't mind a Season One setting with Grodin, Bates or Ford, either. Bonus points if you can do a city-based AU with Grodin AND Lorne. Sentient!Atlantis would win much kudos. Any secondary pairings that suits you, or none. "Happy," angsty, or cliffhanger ending. Sex scenes if you wish, but not at all necessary. If there is sex, bondage, S&M, knifeplay, bloodplay or fireplay would be welcome.

Things I wouldn't like: Death of any character mentioned above (especially Grodin), het as the main pairing, any squicky sex other than that mentioned above, or D/s. No gratuitous sex (must advance the plot/character development). No depiction of underage sex or any sort of rape (mention/vague discussion is okay), absolutely no animal cruelty, abuse or neglect, no child abuse or neglect (mention/vague discussion is okay). No supernatural characters. No pregnancy of any sort. Drugs as the primary cause of the crazy wouldn't be any fun, though they can be present for any other reason.

What I can do: Slash, femmeslash, poly, gen, and main pairing het of these pairings only: Teyla/McKay, Teyla/Lorne, Teyla/Bates, Carter/McKay, Carter/O'Neill, Cadman/McKay, Larrin/McKay. I can do background/secondary het for just about anybody. The characters I'm best with are Rodney, Ronon, Teyla, John, Lorne, and Radek, but I will gladly try Kanaan, Cadman, Carter, Miko, Peter Grodin or Bates. I can do Elizabeth, Carson and Caldwell as secondary characters, but don't do them justice as primary ones. Crossovers with Highlander, Firefly, Farscape, or SG1. AUs and alternate settings, transformation, kid!fic. I would love to write dark!fic this year.

What I can't do: I can't really do NC-17 well, especially het or squick. No animal or child cruelty, abuse or neglect. No graphic depictions of rape or underage sex. I'd rather not have to ship Rodney with anyone except his team, Lorne, Grodin, Cadman, Carter, or Larrin. I'm no good at pairing John with anyone other than Rodney. I'm not familiar with most of Season 5, so can't really do stories based on it. Can't do supernatural characters, unless it's (and this is just stupidly specific) the vampires from Forever Knight. Um, and no pregnancy of any kind.

Pinch hitter?: Yes, assuming I've made sufficient progress on my own fic.