Fic: When I Sorrow Most (McKay/Sheppard, NC-17)

[sgasesa-admin.livejournal.com]

Title: When I Sorrow Most
Author: the_cephalopod
Recipient: sheafrotherdon
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~55,000 words
Warnings: Angst, but I can guarantee a happy ending.
Spoilers: Set early in season 3, so nothing for anything recent.
Author's notes: Happy Christmas Cate! Thank you for your lovely multi-optioned prompt; I tried to encompass as much as possible - I hope you enjoy! Many thanks to my amazing betas - you know who you are - and to moonlettuce and alyse for organising such a wonderful fic exchange!

Summary: "Hey," John said, trying to lighten the tone a little. "The IOA are getting better," he said, reaching across the bed to flick the little Canadian flag on Rodney's jacket before nodding his head towards Ronon and Teyla.

"Yes, well, I suppose so," Rodney sniffed. "It's not as if they could do without me, anyway."

"Or indeed any of us," Teyla added with a smile.

"Well, I hope you all realise that our success is entirely down to the exceptional talent and expertise of your team leader," John said.

"Oh, yes, of course," Rodney replied sarcastically. "We'd be nothing without you."

When I Sorrow Most

Please note, due to the size of this story, it is being hosted offsite.

Comments

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm really pleased you felt that Rodney's experiences rang true. I love strong emotional storylines and so the emotional journey Rodney goes through was, for me, the main one of the story. Of course, I also love my science, so there had to be a lot of that in there too! *g* I incorporated the 'past' timeline, which is much happier and lighter, because I wanted a direct counter-point to the angst-ridden 'present' and also so that I could make John just as much a part of the story as Rodney. I'm glad you felt it worked well and that the switches between the too added to, rather than detracted from, the plot's impact. Thank you once again! cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you! cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I love incorporating science into my plots, so I'm really pleased that it worked for you. I'm also glad to hear you enjoyed the emotional journey - I felt like I was really putting poor Rodney through an awful lot at times, but consoled myself with the knowledge that he'd be happy in the end! *g* Thank you so much for your lovely comment. cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

You already know how much I appreciated your support throughout writing this; thank you! *hugs* cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you! cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm really pleased you enjoyed this and that my characterisation worked for you. The wonderful relationship between John and Rodney and also between them and the rest of the Atlantis team really appeal to me, so I'm really glad you enjoyed that aspect of the story. cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for all your help. *hugs* cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Your comment really made me laugh as I have to say I had never thought about it quite like that! *g* I hope you enjoyed the rest of the story! cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you - I'm so glad you enjoyed it! cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Hee! I did think it would be pretty obvious who'd written this for anyone who'd read my stuff before - I can't seem to help myself getting immersed in physics! *g* Glad you enjoyed the science too & that it made a certain amount of sense!

I know what you mean about 'missing team mate' stories & that's why I felt that I had to do the dual-timeline structure. I really wanted John to have a real presence throughout and also felt like I needed a happier 'past' storyline to counter-act the angst-ridden 'present'. I'm so glad the team aspect of it also worked for you, as that's something I love reading about in stories as well.

Thank you for your lovely comments!

cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! And extra bonus points to you for your ace guess-work. You have Madison and me both totally figured out! *g* cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you braved the angst, but I don't think I could ever not give the boys a happy ending. I'm also so pleased you enjoyed Teyla and Ronon in this. I love 'team' stories so I'm really glad that came through to you. cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I love incorporating science into my stories, so am really glad it worked for you. I'm also pleased you liked the structure. I felt it needed to be told in both the past and the present so I could make John a major part of the story throughout. And, yes, a happy ending is a must for me - I couldn't leave poor Rodney all alone and miserable like that! cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you - I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun writing this - especially working people like Radek and Lorne, as well as the rest of the team, into the plot. And, yes, I completely agree with you - a holiday for the boys now is definitely in order! *g* cep xxx

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your *lovely* comment!

I love writing science into my stories, so it is truly lovely to hear that you enjoyed reading it and that it didn't detract from the story. The team interaction is also something I love to read, so again it is so nice to hear you felt that everyone worked for you. The relationships between the characters, between John and Rodney themselves, but also between the boys individually and the rest of the people on Atlantis, was something I worked hard to depict. Strong emotional storylines always captivate me in totally when I'm reading, so I am really pleased to hear you were drawn into the story and wanted to find out what was happening. I wanted to use the dual timelines so that I could bring John into the story throughout and so I'd also have the counterpoint of a happier 'past' to work with the angst-filled 'present' as the plot slowly revealed itself. I'm really thrilled that you enjoyed it so much; thank you.

cep xxx

[skinscript.livejournal.com]

Wow - Epic in so many ways!

This has everything - humour, team, science, a PLOT, bad guys and good guys and deception and saving the day and depths of despair - but most of all, and best of all, it is a *love* story.

What a great job - I am actually wordless here. Just - wow.

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! The emotional journey is what really motivates me to write and the spark between John and Rodney is far too tempting to resist exploring. I'm so pleased you enjoyed the story. cep xxx

[goddess47]

I finally had the time to read this and glad I could do it in just a couple of sittings.....

Team is done so well.... Ronon and Teyla not questioning that Rodney is not giving up and had a plan. They are more than willing to work with any idea he has to save John. And Zelenka and Lorne helping on the side is what we would expect from them.... they, too, never would give up.

The world-building is awesome, as well as the science..... You've made it all reasonable and sound and yet genius that makes reading a story like this so credible.

And the base of it all -- John and Rodney.... so nicely done. John so steadfast in his belief in Rodney and Rodney's insecurities only coming to surface after the deed is done... Rodney wants John so badly and he doesn't believe he deserves to be loved so unconditionally.....

Amazing and awesome and very nicely done!

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed the team aspects of the story - I have to admit that I was somewhat surprised when Lorne and Radek turned up, but it just felt right that they'd be instrumental in the search for John. You know I love my science and I always worry that I get too carried away, so it is lovely to hear that you enjoyed that aspect. And, of course, the J/R relationship is the crux of it all. *g* Thank you so much for reading. cep xxx

[danceswithgary]

A wonderful read for a snowy day filled with heart-tugging as well as a feast for the brain - thanks so much for writing and sharing.

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! cep xxx

[sarkka]

So huge, so good =)

[the-cephalopod.livejournal.com]

Thank you! cep xxx